My Friend Debbie's last post before she died...

... This is my friend Debbie's last post before she died. Debbie died May 18th, 2009. Debbie had the same rare and deadly type of Leukemia as me. Debbie was a few years younger than me. She died within 5 years of being diagnosed. I wanted to post it for all to see and I hope you really appreciate your lives.
... Here it goes :

... Deb's Last Blog Post:

I am writing this blog post to say a more proper goodbye to all the interweb peoples who have helped me keep it together. Who have given so much support to me through the years. Who are my friends and family. Who were strangers who became friends.
In my blog, I often give assignments for people to do. Here's the ones that are on my mind....

1. Appreciate everything. Even stupid stuff. Since I've been sick, I've communicated with a number of service members abroad. We understand each other well because we both know how much we miss just the normal stuff that most people take for granted. Driving. Driving in traffic. Complaining about stupid stuff is for people who have no idea how good they have it.

2. Be a force for good. There's enough bad stuff in the world without adding to it. Forgive people and leave grudges for others. Do kind things just because. Figure out what you are good at and do good with it.

3. Seek a higher power. I believe Jesus Christ is my savior and this gives me comfort. As it takes faith to believe, it takes faith not to believe. I believe God doesn't want us to live our lives on an island, and that finding a community of faith that is uplifting and supportive to you can make a huge difference in your life. If you have that cool. If you don't, consider it. But don't wait until you are looking death in the eye because you will miss out on some neat things.

4. If you have kids, squeeze them. And then squeeze them again. Give yourself a pat on the back if you are responsible and work hard to give your children a good life and better opportunities. Sometimes you don't give yourself enough credit. If you have people in your life that you love, tell them that. Often. Don't save your I love you's for a rainy day.

5. Take care of yourself. I understand more than most that there are injuries and illnesses that you can't prevent by eating well and moving, but that doesn't mean you should be fatalistic. Nothing like being hooked up to a respirator to make you appreciate just getting going, doing and breathing. Treat yourself at least as well as you treat your car--you put the right type of fuel in your car and you drive it safely most of the time--you are more important than a car so treat yourself that way.

6. Enjoy life. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and as long as it isn't hurting yourself or others, go for it. Bring joy to others. Find passions in your life that make you want to get out of bed in the morning, unless your passion is sleeping and then go ahead and sleep in.

7. Be open to new things. Listen. Doesn't mean you have to change your mind, but who knows, you might learn something.

8. Support sensible health insurance reform. I'm not sure what that ends up looking like, but injuries and illnesses shouldn't fate people into a life of insurmountable debt and bill collectors. I spent the last healthy months of my pre-hospital stay, worried and scrambling to find insurance because my COBRA insurance ran out. Patients should be able to focus on getting better and not crushingly large mountains of papers telling them that their credit is forever screwed.

9. Ask for help. This is a hard assignment. For a lot of people, it isn't easy to ask for help when you need it. But what I've discovered is that it is a part of the human condition for people to want to help those in need. People enjoy helping others. Sometimes you get help where you don't really expect it. So if you need help with something, go to the appropriate people and get it.
I sometimes think that the bad stuff that happens in life is one of the few things that bring people together. It still sucks, but maybe it sucks a little less.
There are too many people to thank for the help they gave me and my family over these difficult times. I would list you individually but am afraid I would leave someone important out. My last days have not been easy at all, but it has been a great comfort to know about all those who gave me prayers and love.
In my life, I've looked for love in a lot of wrong places, and as I die, it is nice to know I am surrounded by love.

10. Last assignment. There is no last assignment. You create your own assignments every day. Choose wisely.
However, my last assignment that I give to you is to take care of my 9 year old daughter Zoe the best you can. I love Zkat from infinity and beyond. I just am trying my hardest with what I can do from this stinkin bed to help her. I know she will be taken good care of in a house full of love, but I feel pain that I can't be physically with her any more to prepare her for a happy, long and healthy life.

... God Bless You Debbie.... Rest in Peace... Your friend... Larry

Graph versus Host Disease

... During 2009, I continue to battle Graph versus Host (GvH) Disease. Graph versus Host disease occurs because the new immune system from the donor's Marrow may identify the patient's body as foreign and try to destroy it. When the donor's immune cells in the Marrow attack the patient, many symptoms and side effects may result and in many cases the patient dies.

... The side effects I am dealing with on and off so far are; very dry eyes, dry mouth, some liver issues, some lung issues, extreme fatigue, rashes on the legs (those are gone now) and purple patches across the body (those are also gone now).

... I have what is called Chronic (GvH), Acute (GvH) is much more dangerous and many times leads to death. The problem is this; many patients started with Chronic and ended up with Acute. I just have to continue to stay positive and leave my life in God's hands. No one can stop themselves from dying when their time is up.

... As most of you know, My sister was the donor (Graph) and I was the patient (Host). I was very blessed to have my sister match. There is only about a 25% chance that a sibling is a match. That has given me a better chance of survival. Although my chances of surviving 10 years is still only about 30-35%. My two friends in the hospital did not match their sibling's marrow and they both died within 2 years.

... Anyway... I'm still here and very thankful. I love God, my family, my friends ( that includes my face book friends) and life. Life is beautiful. Enjoy it. Its a gift from God. I know life can also be very sad at times.

Hopefully our joys will overcome our sorrows.

... God bless us all.. See you at the next post.. :-)

I almost died from a Pneumonia...

... In January 2009, I almost died from a pneumonia. It all started out with a cold. From a cold it then became bronchitis. About a week later I had a pneumonia, with a fever, and could not breathe.

... I called my hematologist in NYC and she said come to the hospital right away. When I got in the car to drive to NYC, I started feeling worse and asked my wife to take me to the closest hospital. The closest hospital was Nyack Hospital. I couldn't breathe and my fever was getting worse.

... I was admitted to Nyack Hospital and was given my own room. The doctors/nurses at Nyack Hospital were told that I had Leukemia. They then realized I had a very poor immune system and this could be fatal.

... The doctors began taking X-rays and giving me medicine for my fever. My fever continued to climb. My fever had went up to 104 at night time. I felt so weak and dizzy. High fevers are much worse for adults than they are for kids. Also, a high fever with a pneumonia in both lungs was very dangerous for me. As i have said in the past, many cancer patients end up dying from a pneumonia.

...I remember waking up at about 3am and couldn't breathe. I did not have my wife or mom with me at the hospital that night. I was alone. I was choking because I had so much mucus/flem stuck in my throat. I began yelling for help and pushing the emergency button next to my bed. No one answered. I got out of bed and fell to the floor. I actually crawled on my hands and knees into the hallway screaming for help. Finally, a nurse came and helped me get up and put me in a chair.

... My lungs/chest/throat were so full of fluids, flem and mucus, I could hardly breathe. The nurse brought up a machine and had me breathe in and out of it. I eventually was able to spit out chunks of mucus/flem. (sorry for the details) I'm talking big green chunks.(sorry again). My fever remained high that evening.

... The next day my fever went down a little. I continued to fight this pneumonia for 11 days in the hospital. I once again knew this pneumonia can kill me, so I just prayed, stayed positive, and hoped for the best. What else could I do ? No doctors or nurses can guarantee I wouldn't die from this pneumonia in both lungs. I knew many have died in the past from a pneumonia that were battling cancer. Once again my life was in God's hands. I couldn't think of a better pair of hands to be in. :-)

... I was discharged 11 days later and was put on bed rest for about a month. I was very happy and thankful I had survived such a bad pneumonia. God has a plan for my life. As I have said before: I don't know what my future holds.... but I know who holds my future...
Can I get an Amen ??? :-)

... See you at my next post.
... The picture above is of Nyack Hospital.

We had to sell the Family business...

... In May of 2008, we had to sell the family business after 24 years. The business was called "Tanglewood Deli". I wasn't able to work after I was diagnosed with cancer (Leukemia). I had spent almost 5 months in the hospital when I got sick. My father was 67 years old when I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.(PH+)

... Our family owned a very successful Deli/Grocery store in Westchester County. We had about 20 employees working for us. We had bought the business when I was 21 years old. I gave that deli the best years of my life. It broke my heart to have to sell our business.

... My dad came to my house one day and asked me to sell the business when I was home from the hospital. My dad was covering for me at the deli and working about 60 hours a week while I was sick. My dad was 67 years old and it was hard for him to be on his feet for so many hours a week. My dad used to wake up every morning at about 3:15am and then get home at 4pm when he worked. That was a long day for him. My dad was also getting stressed out trying to run such a busy deli without me.

... As much as I agreed with my dad that the business had to be sold, it just really hurt me. I had always planned on passing the family business down to either both my sons or at least one of them. It was such a great business. It was one of the busiest deli's around. We were truly blessed with that store.

... I cried the day we sold the deli on May 1st, 2008. It was a very sad day for me. I was so upset that this ugly cancer could force me to sell the business. However... I then began to realize how blessed I was to be alive. The majority of people with my type of Leukemia have either died or are not doing that well. I realized that everything happens for a reason and I just had to sell the deli.

... Once i accepted the fact that the deli had to be sold, I felt better. Its not until we accept certain situations in life that we can begin to heal. My main focus on life is now to continue to love and enjoy my life, family and friends as much as possible until I take my last breath. I'm not out of the woods yet with this Leukemia and I still only have about a 35% chance to live 10 years. I will stay positive and continue to hope and pray to live a long life. As I have said before... I hope I live to see my grandchildren.

... If I gain most of my strength back and my immune system returns, I would like to open a business again. This time I may open up an Italian restaurant.

... You're all invited to the grand opening. Dinner and drinks are on me. We'll have Canarsie (Brooklyn) reunions there once a month. My lifetime friends, family and I will be in touch and always see each other till death due us part...... Buon Appetito.... :-)

We love NYC & I miss Canarsie...

... We came home from our little honeymoon on October 2nd, 2007 and we talked about how much we enjoyed NYC. We stayed local for our honeymoon because I am still battling Leukemia and have been very weak. We stayed in the Times Square area. It's one of our favorite spots. There is so much to see and do. We sometimes think about moving to NYC after all the kids are grown. (if we don't move to the Jersey Shore). We love being able to walk everywhere. Its nice not having to jump in a car to go everywhere. It reminds me of my Canarsie (Brooklyn) days.

... Up here in the suburbs, it seems you need a car for everything. If I need milk in the suburbs, I need the car, ....if I need to go to the dentist, I need the car, ......if I want to go to a movie, I need the car, ....if i want to go to McDonald's, I need the car.... and so on..... I think you all understand what I'm saying. Also, I never heard of play dates in my life until I moved up here. In my Canarsie (Brooklyn) days, us kids walked everywhere. We hardly bothered our parents for anything. I even had a paper route (The Canarsie Courier) at 8 years old.

... I use to ride my bike at 8 years old to the Canarsie train station and sell the papers to everyone getting off the "L" train at 6pm. The station was about 9 blocks from my house. Today's 8 year olds need a car ride to go 1 block on a play date. I walked to Seaview Park and played with my friends at 8 years old. I use to walk to the Canarsie Pier to go fishing and crabing at 10 years old. No one drove me around my own neighborhood when I was a kid.

... I know times have changed and its more dangerous today then it was back then. My point is, we were much more independent in the old days than kids are today. I wish my kids could have grown up in Canarsie as I did ( with all the great people that lived there). I miss the good old Canarsie days.

... Anyway... I do miss walking everywhere to get to where I need to go. It is also good exercise. NYC living is sounding better and better as I am writing this post on my blog. We'll have to wait and make a final decision after all the kids are grown up on where to move to. We have about 6 years to decide.....

... P.S. In Canarsie, my friends and I had to walk to school in rain, snow or sleet. No yellow buses picked us up and our parents didn't drive us. (and guess what.... we loved it !!! )...

... I'll see you all at my next post.

" Our Wedding Day "

... Our Wedding Day has arrived. We were married on September 23rd, 2007. We woke up and went out for breakfast that morning. After breakfast, I use to take about 15 pills a day to help me battle Leukemia. I would feel so nauseous and vomit at times after taking all those pills. I decided that the day of my Wedding, I would not take any pills. I didn't want to take a chance on getting nauseous or sick that day.

...It was a beautiful sunny day. I remember it well. It was about 70 degrees that day. We had our ceremony at Living Christ Church in Nyack, NY. We were married by Pastor Tim Petit. The ceremony was very nice.

... Isabel's mom was her maid of honor. My two sons were my best men. It was so special for me to see my boys at my wedding after almost dying in the hospital that same year. I always prayed in the hospital that God would let me live for my kids sake. I know my kids needed me so much. I love them so much.

...The reception was at Romolo's Italian Restaurant in Congers, NY. We had a piano player at our reception and Flamenco dancers.

( I had to get Flamenco dancers for my Spaniard wife :-). They were great. My closest friend Ralph and my brother in law Damon made beautiful speeches. I love those guys (in a straight way :-)...

... My wife and I made our own Disco CD and played that music for much of the evening. I was weak that day, however, I danced a lot. At one point, my heart was racing so fast, I thought I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. I had to take a valium and relax for a while.

...It was a beautiful Wedding. I cried at times because i wasn't sure if I would ever marry again after laying in the hospital on my death bed for about 5 months. I was very thankful and blessed.

... I wasn't allowed to travel more than an about an hour away from our house for our honeymoon. The doctors wanted me close to the hospital in case I got sick. My immune system was very, very poor and it was very easy for me to get sick. Many cancer patients get sick and die from pneumonia.

... I want to thank everyone who came to my Wedding and shared that special day with us. I believe everyone had a great time. Since we were not allowed to go far for our honeymoon, we decided to go to NYC for our honeymoon. We stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square for three days.

... I'm not going to say much about our honeymoon. That's kind of private. ;-) I'll just say our honeymoon was a lot of fun. (How u doin !!!) We always love going into NYC. There'so much to see and do...

... See you at my next Blog....

Time to plan the Wedding...

...In the summer of 2007, Isabel (my fiance at the time) and I decided to set a wedding date. We decided to get married on September 23rd, 2007. I was still weak and taking a lot of medications at the time... however... we decided to get married and only had about 2 months to plan it.

...This was our second wedding. ( We all can't get it right the first time. ;-). Our second wedding was smaller than our first one. We only invited immediate family and a few local friends. I felt bad for the people who had to give me a second wedding gift. My Uncle Patsy told me that this was my last wedding gift. He's right, I think two weddings is more than enough.

... I think i would have to have my head examined to get married 3 times. I hope I didn't insult anyone. That's just my thought. Hopefully our second wedding will last till death due us part. I plan on staying married forever this time.

... We got everything done and we were ready for our wedding day. I was just having some anxiety because I was hoping I didn't get sick or have a relapse before the wedding. I was still very weak at the time. I had also just learned that my friend Matthew died, he had the same type of Leukemia as me. We were at NY Presbyterian Hospital together. It was tough planning a wedding when i knew there was a 75-80% chance of me dying at the time. However... the show must go on....

...In my next post I will talk about our Wedding Day... You're all invited... :-)