The Filter and Port were removed from me.

... The Doctors thought that the fever i have been running might be coming from the Port or Filter in my body. The Doctors ordered 2 surgeries for me with different dates.

... The surgeons had to slice open my neck and jugular vein again to remove the Port (which was used for my Stem Cell Transplant, blood work and anti-biotics). They also had to slice my chest open and take out the Port.

...The surgeons then got to see me another day to cut my neck & jugular vein open again to remove the filter which ran to my heart to keep the blood thin because of the blood clot that was still in my lung.

... The nights before those surgeries were very hard for me. I could hardly sleep. Just thinking that my throat & jugular vein would be sliced open made me feel so scared and sick. I did get drugged up before the procedures...however...i was awake and did feel pain and much discomfort.

...After both surgeries, my fever did break and i was able to get out of bed and walk around the hospital. The Doctors always wanted me to walk and get some exercise. I once met Mary Tyler Moore & Geraldine Ferraro at the hospital. They were both very nice.

... In my next post i will continue to discuss my stay at the Hospital before i was discharged.

Fever for 19 days straight...

... As if i didn't have enough problems, now i began to run a fever in the hospital which would last 19 days straight. This happened during the month of February, 2007. Having a fever for just a few days is awful, however, having one for 19 days is draining and scary.

... I don't know about you, but when i get fever, I feel very weak, dizzy, i have a headache, i feel nauseous and i can hardly get out of bed. The Doctors would be taking anywhere from 6 to 12 tubes of blood from me each day. They needed to culture the blood constantly and try and find out why i had this fever that wouldn't break.

...Fevers were very dangerous for me because i had a close to zero immune system and would not be able to fight most infections. People with transplants can die from infections because of their weak immune system. Most of the people who died from the Swine Flu this past year also had very weak immune systems.

...My fever finally broke after 19 days and the Doctors never knew why i had that fever. However... after 3 days, i began to run a fever again which lasted about another 19 days straight. I was getting scared and felt so weak. I continued losing weight and would just pray that if it was my time to go, I didn't want to suffer with pain.

...At this point i had lost about 50 pounds since i was diagnosed. I was close to being anorexic. I was in pretty good shape before i got sick. I really couldn't afford to lose any weight. This nightmare which began in November, 2006 was still continuing in March, 2007.

...In my next post i will discuss what they did that finally broke my fever. Imagine having fever for 38 out of 41 days. Its crazy...

Legionnaires Disease in the Hospital...

...I got a letter one day in my room which stated that no one was to use the Hot water because they found traces of Legionnaires Disease in the Hot water. They said i could only use the cold water. I couldn't believe it. I even thought of transferring Hospitals and going across the street to Sloan Kettering Hospital.

...I'm not one who can take cold showers everyday. The hospital began to give patients packets of cloths with soap and water. We would then put the packets in the microwave and heat up the cloths. Isabel (my girlfriend at the time) would have to Cloth Bathe me whenever she was at the hospital with me. My mom would also have to cloth bathe me when Isabel was not at the hospital. (just for the record, I always wore boxers when my mom would cloth bathe me).

...I also was not able to shave until my Platelet counts went up. Platelet counts usually range from 150,000 to 450,000. My Platelet counts went down to around 10,000. Because of my Stem Cell Transplant, the Chemo & Radiation destroyed most of my blood cells. Platelets circulate in the blood and lead to the formation of blood clots. If i was to shave and cut myself, i would bleed excessively. Since my platelet counts were so low, my blood would not be able to clot and stop the bleeding.

...I couldn't shave for about 6 weeks and had a beard. I was eventually given Platelet transfusions and was then able to shave again. I was not able to shower until i was discharged from the hospital. We all take simple things like taking a shower for granted. I really missed being able to take a nice hot shower. It felt so good when i was discharged and took that beautiful hot shower at home. I think i stayed in the shower for about an hour the first time and was just so grateful.

...In my next post i will discuss the fever i had for about 19 days straight.

The Nurses & The Volunteers...

...I'd like to dedicate this post to all the wonderful Nurses & Volunteers at NY Presbyterian Hospital. I am very grateful for all the help, patience, love, time, expertise and "Foot Massages". Yes, i said foot massages. I began a new trend at that hospital. The volunteers would come into my room everyday and ask what they could do for me. The volunteers would ask if i wanted to play cards, board games or just talk. I would usually say no thank you.

Then one day, i asked the supervisor (her name was Trish) if the volunteers could give me a foot massage everyday. Trish never had that request before. After some thought, Trish (the volunteer supervisor) said it would be okay as long as they wore gloves. I said gloves would be fine and i supplied the moisturiser.

...Almost everyday, a different volunteer would come in my room and give me a 20-30 minute foot massage. It felt so good. I felt that if i was going to suffer and possibly die, i would have some joy while i was going through it.

...All the nurses were great, except one. I will not mention her name (even though i should). One night i felt so sick, i went to hold that nurses' arm and she yelled at me not to touch her. I told her that she was in the wrong profession. I asked her how she could be so cruel to a patient that might be dying. I told her i wasn't contagious. I was just feeling very sick and scared at that moment. I complained to the supervisor and never had that nurse again.

...Just for the record, some of my nurses were men. I found that hard to understand at first. Remember, I'm from Brooklyn, i never heard of any guy from Brooklyn being a nurse when i lived there. If i told my friends in Brooklyn i wanted to be a nurse (Fugettaboutit...) i would have gotten a real Brooklyn beaten. However, the male nurses were just as good as the female nurses.

...So again... My sincere heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful nurses and volunteers (except this one girl nurse) for everything they did for me.
God Bless You All.....

...Anyone who has some extra time should really think about volunteering. I was truly blessed by them. There's a special, beautiful inner joy that comes from volunteering.
Remember, God said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive".

...In my next post i will talk about not being able to shave or shower for a few months. (I didn't smell). I'll explain in my next post....

Hallucinations & Vertigo...

...I'll never forget the nights i was put on Morphine because i was in so much pain. All the other pain killers didn't work. My mom was staying with me one night and had a small bed next to mine.

...I woke up between 2-4am and started yelling out for help because i thought i was on fire. I wanted someone to call the Fire department. I thought i died and then passed out. I then woke up again a little later and began yelling out for help because i thought i was being stabbed to death. Once again i thought i died and passed out. I woke up a third time and yelled out for help because i thought i was being shot to death.

I call that : " The Night I Died 3 Times". My poor mom was just laying there and didn't know what to do. I laugh as i think about it now. It was scary then.

...There was another night when I hallucinated. This time Isabel was sleeping in the small bed next to mine. I woke up in the middle of the night and yelled out to Isabel: "I'm sorry honey, i tried, i can't take it anymore, i can't beat this Leukemia, I'm going to die now, say goodbye to everyone and tell them i love them."
I then passed out and went back to sleep. The doctors had told me i may hallucinate on morphine, I didn't believe them. I'm a believer now. I hope i never need morphine again.

...I also developed some Vertigo & dizzy spells after the Transplant. I couldn't even walk myself to the bathroom when i had vertigo. I had to be escorted to the bathroom. I would feel so nauseous when i had vertigo. I would sometimes drop to the floor and vomit. I rarely ever get vertigo anymore, I do however, still get dizzy spells from time to time.

...I will discuss more events that occurred during my six weeks in the hospital after my transplant in my next post...

Post Stem Cell Transplant...

... I woke up feeling lifeless from my Stem Cell Transplant. I was so weak and drained. My blood counts were very poor and they told me it would take a very long time to get my blood counts up.

...For example: My white blood count was down to 300. My average white blood count before i was diagnosed was around 9000. The White Blood Cells (WBC'S) are important because they are cells of the immune system defending the body against both infectious diseases and foreign materials.

...The Doctor's let me know that my body might not even be able to fight off a cold or sore throat. Since i had a very, very poor immune system, my body could not fight for me. I was put in an isolation room. Everyone was suppose to always put on gloves, a gown and a mask before they entered my room.

... There were no regular rooms left on the Leukemia floor, i ended up getting a suite on that floor for no extra charge. It really was a nice room. It was about 400 square feet and had windows all around it. I had the corner unit and had a great view of the East river. I was told that John Gotti Sr.'s wife was at my hospital around the same time as me for some type of surgery and also had a suite. I felt important.

... As the days went on after my transplant, i continued to get weaker & weaker. I could hardly eat and was losing more weight. All i could eat was graham crackers with jelly and chicken broth with some rice. The Chemo & Radiation had temporarily destroyed my taste buds. Everything tasted like metal to me.

...People really need to appreciate being able to taste and enjoy food. Healthy people take so much for granted. Anyone of us can get sick at anytime and have our world turned upside down. Lets all not sweat the small stuff and enjoy our life & be thankful for our health. I hear so many people complaining about non-sense.

... I will continue to discuss what went on the next 6 weeks while i stayed in isolation in my next post. I developed vertigo and had some scary hallucinations.

The " Stem Cell Transplant "...

...Its Friday, January 26th 2007. The Stem Cell Transplant would begin at about 9pm and end at about 5am Saturday, January 27th. Some doctors, nurses and patients would say that January 27, 2007 is my new birthday. I was about to get an entire new immune system, DNA, Stem cells and blood type. My blood type was O+ and my sister was B+. My blood type is suppose to eventually change and become my sister Nellie's blood type. (B+).

...The doctors said i may also be getting many of her personal symptoms. I may get her same allergies, headaches and so on. I told the doctors: I just hope i do not get a menstrual cycle or need to buy some bra's ..lol.. We all laughed at that one. I always seemed to keep my sense of humor most of the time with the staff.

...The day of my Transplant i had my Mom, Dad, Isabel, my sister Nellie and her husband at the hospital. My sister Nellie had to take Nuprigen shots everyday the week before the Transplant and had pain in her bones. Nuprigen shots were give to increase her white blood cells. Its given to the donors the week before the transplant. Its known to cause bone pains.

... The procedure begins with my sister Nellie having to sit in a chair for about 6-7 hours and not move. They put a bigger than usual needle in her left arm and began to draw out blood and let in run through a machine. The machine would take all the Stem Cells it needed and then return the rest of her blood back into her right arm. Nellie was feeling weak and her lips began to shake. Her body was being depleted of calcium and they had to give her calcium pills. My sister felt very beat up and weak when she was done. Nellie started the procedure at about 10am and was done at about 5pm. The next day, Nellie felt fine... ( I'm happy about that ).

...I was just waiting nervously in my room upstairs. I was just hoping and praying my body would accept the transplant. Our bodies are all build with an immune system to naturally refuse foreign organs or stem cells. Whether it be a heart, kidney or stem cell transplant. That's why they had to destroy my immune system before my transplant. That is the best chance for my body to accept it. It doesn't guarantee acceptance, it just gives one a higher success rate.

...At about 9pm, the doctors and nurses came into my room and connected me to several IV's. There were several bags hanging on the pole with anti-biotics, bags of Stem Cells, IV fluids and a few other fluids/medications in those bags. During my 8 hours of getting my sister's Stem Cells, I had a bad case of the chills and fever. My entire body was also shaking for many hours. I was so cold, they had to put many blankets on me. I was up until about 5am that morning and was drained. I then fell asleep with a strong injection of Benadryl.

...My next post will talk about the next few days and about my room in isolation. They told me a cold or sore throat could lead to my death....
...Note: The above picture is a pole with the bags for Stem Cell Transplants...

Full Body Radiation....

... After 3 days of very high doses of Chemo, it was now time to start Full Body Radiation. Since Leukemia is a blood cancer and i needed a transplant, i had to be radiated from head to toe. Most people only get Radiation pointed to where the cancer actually exists. With Leukemia & other blood cancers, we have cancer from head to toe because its in our blood. The doctors wanted to make sure they killed most of the cells inside me before my body would get the Stem Cell Transplant.

...It was Monday morning and at about 9am they came with a wheel chair to escort me to the Radiation room. I was very weak after all the Chemo and the Radiation would only make me weaker. I needed that wheel chair.

...I was then basically tied up while i was standing. I felt like i was wrapped up in a strait jacket. They didn't want me to move. The doctors & nurses then closed this very thick door and started zapping me from top to bottom. One patient told me it was like getting Nuked. I felt no pain... however... i began having an anxiety attack from being wrapped up and not being able to move.

...I yelled out to stop and they did. They then had to give me Valium to relax and we then continued the procedure for about 30 minutes. When i finished, they said they would come get me in my room again at about 4pm and do it all again. This procedure went on twice a day (30 minutes each time) from Monday-Thursday. I had several anxiety attacks during that week. The Valiums worked great. (maybe too good). I was starting to enjoy feeling very relaxed. I began asking for Valiums to go to sleep on certain nights. I usually only took 5-10 milligrams at a time.

...By Thursday afternoon i was drained and feeling sick. I couldn't really eat and I was losing weight. The next day was Friday and they told me i would be getting my Stem Cell Transplant at about 8pm Friday night. My sister Nellie would have to be at the hospital Friday morning and get ready to be my beautiful donor. I was a nervous wreck Thursday night and took a Valium to go to sleep... Tomorrow is the big day...

...In my next post i will go through the Stem Cell Transplant procedure..

I was readmitted for my Bone Marrow Transplant...

...I was readmitted to the hospital on January 18th, 2007. I had to get ready for my Transplant. The Doctor who would be handling my transplant procedure was Dr. Tsiporah Shore. She is the associate director of The Bone Marrow & Stem Cell Transplantation program at NY Presbyterian Hospital.

Dr. Shore is a wonderful woman and so is her assistant. (Jesse).

... The doctors told me i would be getting very high doses of Chemo the next 3 days. The doctors needed to destroy most of my good blood cells & immune system before i was injected with my sister's Stem Cells. The doctors decided that i would have a Stem Cell Transplant (SCT) instead of a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT).

...The difference is this : In a BMT, they would put the donor out with anesthesia and put a big needle in their lower back (the hip bone) and draw out blood for about 2-3 hours. The donor will then feel some pain when they wake up that lasts a few days.... In a SCT, the donor (my sister Nellie) is awake and laying down for about 8 hours and having blood drawn from her vein. There is no pain during or afterwards. The blood then goes through a machine and they take out a couple of bags of her Stem cells. They then hook up the bags to my vein in either my neck or arm and give me her Stem cells. I was so happy they chose to go with my arm.

...Before they could begin the transplant, I had to get surgery to put a blood filter in my neck and connected to my heart. I needed that because of my blood clot in my lung. The filter was used as a blood thinner. They sliced my neck and jugular vein open and ran the filter down to my heart. I was put on local anesthesia. I did feel some pain and discomfort.

...( I wish i was back in Italy on vacation. I had just gotten back from Italy when i was diagnosed with Leukemia)...

...I began the high doses of Chemo on Friday and had it round the clock until Sunday. I was getting weaker and sicker. I was laying there scared and hopeful. After the 3 days of Chemo (Fri-Sun.) they told me i would be getting 4 days of high doses of Full Body Radiation. That would take place from Monday-Thursday.

...I will continue the pre- Stem Cell Transplant procedure in my next post. Have a great day... Lorenzo

...The picture above is of Venice, Italy... (I've been thinking about taking a nice vacation to Venice lately).

My 4 weeks at home before the Transplant...

...I was at home for the next 4 weeks waiting to be readmitted to the hospital for my Bone Marrow Transplant. So many thoughts and emotions are running through my mind. I spent most of my time laying on the couch in the living room and watching the news on T.V.

...As i watch the news, I see all the U.S. soldiers that are dying in the Iraq war. I also see all other kinds of tragedies going on in people's life all around the country. I realized that instead of me saying: Why me ? , Why me ?, so many times.... I then began to say: Why not ?. Why not me ? Who am I to be guaranteed a long life full of health ? Our soldiers were dying for our freedom, people were dying of diseases all over the world, people were being murdered for no reason, planes had crashed and killed innocent children and so on.

...I then began to be thankful for the life I had up to that point. I was so blessed to have had a beautiful family & great friends growing up in Canarsie, Brooklyn. I was blessed to have had 3 beautiful children to love, raise and enjoy. (My children were 16, 14 and 12 when i was diagnosed). I was blessed with a beautiful girlfriend named Isabel who gave up her life for me and wanted to take care of me .I was blessed to have done much traveling in my life. I was blessed to always have food on the table, clothing on my back and a roof over my head.

...At that point, I had accepted the fact that the odds were against me living and if it was my time to go...... i told God i was ready. I also got a piece of paper and wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I added that letter in my will.

...I once read (in a commentary) that God never promised us a Rose Garden here on Earth, God promised us an Eternal Garden, if we believe, trust and give our hearts to God, we will spend our eternity with him. We will have trials & tribulations here on Earth. No one knows when death will knock at our door. We just need to be ready when its our time to go.

...I then began reading the book of Proverbs from the Old Testament almost everyday. In my opinion, that book is full of more Wisdom & common sense then any book from any College or University in the world. (Take a peek some day).

...So many people would ask me what they could do for me... all i would answer is : just say a prayer for me. What else can anyone really do for me when I only have about a 20-25% chance of survival ? I do thank everyone for asking. I was filled with lots of love all around me. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers...

...My next blog will talk about the pre-Bone-Marrow-Transplant procedure at the hospital when i was readmitted.