Time to plan the Wedding...

...In the summer of 2007, Isabel (my fiance at the time) and I decided to set a wedding date. We decided to get married on September 23rd, 2007. I was still weak and taking a lot of medications at the time... however... we decided to get married and only had about 2 months to plan it.

...This was our second wedding. ( We all can't get it right the first time. ;-). Our second wedding was smaller than our first one. We only invited immediate family and a few local friends. I felt bad for the people who had to give me a second wedding gift. My Uncle Patsy told me that this was my last wedding gift. He's right, I think two weddings is more than enough.

... I think i would have to have my head examined to get married 3 times. I hope I didn't insult anyone. That's just my thought. Hopefully our second wedding will last till death due us part. I plan on staying married forever this time.

... We got everything done and we were ready for our wedding day. I was just having some anxiety because I was hoping I didn't get sick or have a relapse before the wedding. I was still very weak at the time. I had also just learned that my friend Matthew died, he had the same type of Leukemia as me. We were at NY Presbyterian Hospital together. It was tough planning a wedding when i knew there was a 75-80% chance of me dying at the time. However... the show must go on....

...In my next post I will talk about our Wedding Day... You're all invited... :-)

In Memory of my Friends...

... I'd like to dedicate this post to my 3 friends who passed away. I met these 3 guys during my 5 month stay at the hospital. Two of my friends had the same exact type of Leukemia as me. (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia with Philadelphia Chromosome Positive).

...As i had mentioned before, this type of Leukemia is one of the deadliest forms of cancer. It only has about a 20-25% chance of a 2 year survival and then a 30-35% chance of a 5 year survival. My other friend who passed away had Hodgkins Lymphoma. (which is also a form of blood cancer).

... Their names were Tommy, Russell and Matthew. My closest friend was Matthew. He was from Staten Island. Matthew was only 35 years old when i met him. He was only married a few months when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. We stayed on the same floor in the hospital during our battle with Leukemia. We would talk and walk around the 10th floor all the time. We always checked on each other and developed a special bond.

... Matthew and his wife came to visit me in my room when i had first gotten admitted to the hospital. They were so full of hope and encouragement. They gave me strength and energy. I'm thankful for that. Matthew had been admitted about 4 months before me. Matthew was in remission when i met him. He was waiting to find a match for a Bone Marrow transplant. His sibling did not match.

...My mom became good friends with Matthew's mom. They would always see each other at the hospital. Matt's mom and wife are beautiful people. Matthew was also a beautiful person. We talked about always being friends after we both left the hospital.

... Matthew passed away on July 29th, 2007. He was only 36. When the doctors told me about Matthew dying, I cried so much. It was personal to me. He was a special guy. I still hurt over Matthew's death. I miss you buddy. I'll never forget you...

...Tommy and Russell also passed away. I'm not sure when. Russell was from NYC and Tommy was from New Jersey. The 4 of us were on the 10th floor battling cancer together. I was the oldest.

... Why did they die and not me ? Will i die next ? No one knows the answers to these questions. Only God knows the beginning to the end. All I know is this, I am very blessed and thankful to be alive. I cried out to God all the time while i was in the hospital. I wanted to live to see my kids become independent. I hope i live to see my grandchildren one day. I'm doing better... however.. I'm not out of the woods.

... I will enjoy my life as much as possible until i take my last breath. I will love my family and friends. I will not take anything for granted. I will be thankful to God for all that i have. I hope you will all do the same and not wait to get sick or cancer before you feel the same way.

... So i say to my friends who passed away... I will always remember you guys. I don't know why I am here and you are not. Rest in peace my friends. May God bless you & your families....

Infection & bump in my Chest...

... While i was home trying to recover, a bump began to pop out of my chest. After about 2 weeks, it was the size of a ping pong ball. I went to the hospital and my doctor sent me to get an x-ray and see a surgeon.

(This occurred around June 2007).

... It turned out that I had an infection in my chest that must have happened when they had cut my chest open to remove the port. Anyone can get an infection when they cut you open for any type of surgery.

... The surgeon asked me if could spend a few hours at the hospital. He wanted to do the surgery right there by his office. I told him i was ready for the surgery. I have to say, I was always ready, (scared), but ready.

...The doctors/surgeons had to give me several needles around the bump to numb the area. About 30 minutes later, he took the knife and cut open the infection. There was blood and puss coming out. The doctor had to drain it all out.

... I was sent home an hour later to rest and go on anti-biotics. It was just another day at the office for me. :-) After already having my throat and jugular vein sliced open 3 times, slicing my chest was a walk in the park.

... I did recover and the infection went away. I still have the scar on my chest. Good old memories. As long as I'm here... I'm happy... ;-)

...See you at my next post...

Anorexia...

... After being home about 2 months, I continued to lose weight. I was getting very close to becoming anorexic. At this point, I had lost about 60 pounds. The Doctors told me that i may have to get a feeding tube soon. Feeding tubes usually go through your stomach or neck. I chose the stomach if it became necessary.

...The doctors wanted me to try a medication called "Megace". Megace is a liquid medication that treats anorexia. It also treats unexplained or continued weight loss.

...I had my doubts about Megace. I didn't think there was a drink that could make me want to eat. However... it was my last chance before the feeding tube would go in.

...Well.... I gotta tell you... after a few days of "Megace", I was eating like a horse. (Do horses really eat a lot ?). Anyway.... I slowly began to gain some weight and i was very happy about that. I was eating so much "pasta" and other foods. I couldn't believe how well megace worked for me.

... I began enjoying food and desserts again. People who know me... know that i enjoy eating good foods and desserts. One of my favorite pasta dishes is: Pasta with fresh tomato sauce and eggplants. That's a Sicilian dish. I'm drooling thinking about it. My favorite dessert is Flan. My aunt Dee (Letizia) makes it the best. (hint-hint if your reading this Dee)...

... Anyway... I'm very thankful and blessed that i did not have to get a feeding tube. I suffered enough. I have to catch a break sometimes.

... So i say to everyone... Enjoy your food, be thankful we live in a country that always has food, and help feed those who are hungry.

Have a great day everyone.
Today is Rosh Hashanah.
Happy Rosh Hashanah to all...

Vestibular Therapy...

... I continued to suffer with ringing in my left ear and dizzy spells when i came home from the hospital. I had to begin going for Vestibular Therapy every week at the Hospital.

... The therapist said that she believed that the crystals in my left ear were clumped together and causing ringing in my ear and dizzy spells. I never heard of crystals in the ear. I asked her if she's sure it wasn't wax. She said that was not the problem.

... The therapy consisted of her taking turns and banging each side of my head on a table with a thick mat on it. I thought she was nuts. I was getting headaches and nausea. The therapist said she was trying to break up the clump of crystals. I told her to just keep punching me in the head... maybe that will work.. :-0

...I did this for about 4 weeks with no results, except for many headaches and vomiting. I told them i was quiting therapy and would rather hope the ringing and dizzy spells get better on their own.

...Its been two and a half years later and it has gotten better. Its not gone. Just better. I still get ringing and dizzy spells...however... not as bad as i use to get them.

...As i have said before, this Leukemia with a Transplant has so many side effects. Most of us have to live with them until we die...

...In my next post i will talk about the doctor wanting to put a feeding tube in my stomach. I was becoming anorexic...

I'm home from the Hospital...

...It was now April, 2007. I loved being back in my own home. However, the Leukemia side effects and issues came home with me and i would continue to have problems from this ugly cancer. People who have had a Bone/Stem Cell Transplant know that it doesn't end when we go home.

... Leukemia with a transplant has many different side effects. I was having severe ringing in my ears. I had many bad dizzy spells. I also had Graph verses Host disease. That's when the body is fighting the transplant. Many times our bodies try to reject a transplant, whether it be a heart, kidney, liver or Bone Marrow Transplant.

... Some of the side effects i had from graph verses host were very dry eyes and mouth. They had to plug my tear ducts. They told me it would help. It really didn't do much. I also had to use special toothpaste and rinse. That did help a little. I had also developed purple patches throughout my body. They are gone now. The doctor said it was caused by my liver. I was having liver issues from the graph verses host disease.

...I was and still am very anemic. That is diagnosed from my red blood cells. It is not from low iron. I was so weak and always exhausted when i came home from the hospital. I continued to lose weight. I was also nauseous all the time because i had to pop about 20 pills a day. I was taking: anti-rejection pills, anti-viral pills, anti fungal pills, anti-bacteria pills, anti-biotic pills, anti-nausea pills, antacid pills, steroids and a few other drugs i can't remember.

...I was hardly eating and had to take all these pills. I was so nauseous that I would vomit in whatever room i was in. Sometimes the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, the bathroom, etc... My poor wife had to always clean up after me. ( actually, she was my fiance at the time).That's love. Cleaning up vomit from all over. That's special. :-)

... I will continue discussing my Leukemia at home in my next post. Hope to see you all again... Have a great day...

...The picture above is our home in Rockland County, NY...

Reunited at the Hospital...

... My sister Nellie and her husband were separated for a few years before i was diagnosed with Leukemia. I remember seeing them both in my room while i was laying in bed sick and scared. I said to myself, self, :-)
I would love to see them get back together.

... I love my sister Nellie and I always loved my sisters husband (Damon). In a straight way. :-)
I knew him before he dated my sister. I thought he was a great guy when i only knew him as a customer in my Deli. I was very hurt and upset when they had gotten separated.

...I was hoping that if one good thing would come out of me having cancer (Leukemia), it would be that my sister and Damon got back. I really wanted them to get back and so did their children. I remember asking Nellie's son on his birthday what he wished for on his birthday, he told me he wished for his daddy to come back home. I never forgot that. I was very moved. I'm an emotional guy.

... Nellie and Damon started dating again and eventually were able to work things out. They are back together and enjoying their life and family. I was very happy for the two of them and all of our families. I wonder what their son will wish for on his next birthday. I'm glad his wish came true and his daddy's back home.

... I always tell married people with children to try their hardest to work things out. I hate divorce. Even though i was once divorced myself. I had tried hard to work things out for a while, however, when i thought i was having a heart attack a few times, i knew it was time to leave...

... The picture above is of my sister Nellie and her husband (Damon) at Pier Village Beach, NJ. (August 2009)...
Reunited and it feels so good... :-)

See you at my next post...

Chemo in my Brain & Spine...

...I was about to be discharged in April, 2007 from NY Presbyterian. Before i was discharged, they told me they had to give me Chemo in my Spine and Brain. The Doctors said that the cancer (Leukemia) could be hiding there and wanted me to get one more round of Chemo before I left the Hospital.

...I wasn't happy to hear that, however, I trusted my Doctors and had the Chemo injected into my spine. I was on a bed that was turned upside down and that would allow the Chemo (fluids) to flow to my brain. I felt weak and sick afterwards. At that point, I was use to feeling that way. I was in the hospital for about 5 months. Its was 5 months of torture.

...I was actually nervous about going home. I was so use to having so many doctors and nurses around me. Anytime I needed help, I would just push the button and the nurses showed up.

...I think some of the doctors and nurses were going to miss me as well. I would make them laugh whenever i felt okay. I use to also play the theme song to "Rocky" in the morning while they gave me a check up. That theme song always gave me a nice boost of energy.

...My bags were packed and I was going home to continue my recovery. I sure did miss my home and big television. It'll be nice to be near all my family and friends again. Although i couldn't taste much, i was looking forward to home cooked meals. That hospital food is not for me. My family will be coming to the hospital and taking me home soon. So long Leukemia floor. I hope i only have to go back there to visit and say hello to all the wonderful nurses, doctors and employees...

...See you all at my next post...