A New Year is Coming...

... It seems the years really do go by faster and faster. I still remember being in Canarsie High School in Brooklyn and having such a great time with all my friends. How many of us would give almost anything to go back to HS ? Many I'm sure.

.. The New Year is a good time to look back and be thankful for everything we have. Our life, our health, our family, our friends, our faith, our jobs, food on the table and a roof over our heads. We may never truly appreciate all this unless we travel to a poor country and see how they live.

... The New Year is also a time to look back and make certain changes in our lives. We have all made mistakes. Lets try to fix them and not repeat them. What is done - cannot be undone. Lets just learn from our mistakes...

... This New Year's lets try and make peace with certain relatives or friends we may be upset with or angry with. Anger or resentment can eat at us like a cancer. Forgiveness is divine. We need to forgive and move on. Sometimes we just have to be the better person and swallow our pride.

... As I continue to battle cancer (Leukemia), I am especially thankful to see another year. The majority of adults over 40 with my type of Leukemia have died or will die within 5 years. I have lived 3 years with this cancer so far. I hope to be an exception and live a long life. ( God willing). I will try to stay positive and enjoy life as much as possible when I'm feeling well. I hope you all will enjoy life as much as possible too. In the New Year lets all try to enjoy life more & complain less...

... Have a very Happy & Healthy New Year everyone. Enjoy "2010". I hope its a great year for everyone. May God Bless us All....

People Watching...

... I really enjoy people watching. I never really thought about it much as a child, however, as an adult, I love it. When I was a child, I ran around with a fresh head and not a care in the world. As an adult, I'm amazed by all the different types of people in the world.

... I think one of the best places to people watch is in NYC. There are so many people of different races, religion and culture. I could sit there for hours and just watch.

... I enjoy looking at everyone and everything their wearing. I sit back and wonder where they live or what country their from. I wonder if any of them are battling any type of cancer or (Leukemia) as I am. I wonder who's married, divorced or single. I wonder who's happy, sad or depressed.

... I sometimes just feel like walking up to people and asking them questions. I love talking and getting to know people. I know its non of my business to know about everyone, however, I've always been a curious person. The human race & its people have always amazed me.

... Anyway.... I know there are lots of people out there who also enjoy people watching. I'm not alone. Maybe one day I can start a reality show and walk around NYC asking all the questions I have. I would like to help those who are down and out with their lives, and remind those who have their lives going well to really appreciate it.

... I would also like to tell everyone to love your neighbors, (hate the sin in people, but love the sinner). I would also encourage everyone to love God with all their heart and mind. If we believe we were created by God, then we ought to love the giver of our life. We should love God more than ourselves. I believe our lives are a gift from God. Always love the giver more than the gift. (Ex: We give our children gifts... however... our children should love the giver more than the gift).

... Merry Christmas everyone.
... May God bless us all...

P.S. The picture above is of Lorenzo (Larry) Fortunato in NYC during Christmas, 2009. :-)

I Always Loved This Time of Year...

... Since I was a little boy, I always loved this time of year. Christmas time is a wonderful time of year, however, it can also be a sad time for many people. If life is going well and we have our health and family in order, its great. If we had a death in the family, or our family is going through hard times, it can be a tough time of the year.

... As a child, my favorite part was the snow to go sleigh riding and all the Christmas gifts. My friends and I had so much fun with our snowball fights. I also remember going to Rockefeller Center and ice skating as a child.

...My family (about 20 of us) would open up the Christmas gifts at midnight every year on Christmas Eve. I used to love ripping that wrapping paper apart and seeing my gifts. My family and I would then play cards until the wee hours of the morning.

...As a teenager, (around the year 1976-1978), I remember hanging on to the back of cars in Canarsie (Brooklyn) when it snowed and getting pulled around town. We called that snow skitching. It was lots of fun and a little dangerous. The cars today do not have those big bumpers anymore. That sport died out. :-)

... As an adult, I love going into Manhattan and seeing all the holiday decorations. My favorite part is Rockefeller Center. I still love seeing that Christmas tree and all the ice skaters. It puts me in a great Christmas spirit.
If I was Jewish, it would put me in a great Chanukah Spirit. :-) .... how u doin !!!!

... I was diagnosed with Leukemia at Christmas time in 2006. I spent most of that Christmas season in the hospital. It was a very sad and scary time for me & my family. I tried to make believe I was happy for my children's sake. I was really a mess.

... The good news is this.... Its 3 years later and I'm still here. I am truly thankful and appreciate life so, so much. I love Christmas time and the rest of the year as well. Every day is a gift. ( that's why its called the present... :-) how u doin !!!!! ).

... I wish everyone a very Blessed & Merry Christmas. I also wish my Jewish friends a very Blessed Chanukah. As a Christian, I am thankful for the birth of Jesus Christ. That is the true celebration of "Christ" mas.
John 3:16, For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son.....

... Enjoy the holidays everyone. I wish you all health and happiness. God Bless you all.
I love you all... "Merry Christmas" :-)

I went for my monthly bloodwork & physical...

... Today I went to N.Y. Presbyterian Hospital for my blood work and physical. I usually go at least once a month. They do whats called a CBC. That stands for Complete Blood Count. A CBC is a common blood test that evaluates the three major types of cells in the blood: Red blood cells, White blood cells, and Platelets.

... A CBC may be ordered as part of a routine checkup, or if someone has been feeling very tired for a while, or seems to have an infection, or had/has unexplained bruising or bleeding. This blood test is done by drawing blood from your arm. (as pictured above).

... Red blood cells carry oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body.
... White blood cells help the body fight infections.
... Platelets play an important role in blood clotting and the prevention of bleeding.

... The CBC can also test for loss of blood, abnormalities in the production or destruction of blood cells, acute and chronic infections, allergies, and problems with blood clotting.

... My blood work came back with some minor issues today. I am still very anemic, my red blood cells are too low, and I'm still having some issues with my liver. My immune system is still very weak and I have to keep away from sick people. The swine flu can kill me because of my compromised immune system.

... However... overall I am very content with my results today. I'm so thankful to still be alive after only having about a 20-25% chance to live two years. Because of that, not much worries or scares me.

... I hope you have found this post educational and may have learned a little more about our bodies. See you at the next post... :-)
... How u doin !!!!!

I am now up to date...

... I have enjoyed sharing my Life with Leukemia with all of you the past 5 months. I have squeezed my past 3 years with Leukemia into 5 months of blogging.

... I will continue blogging about my Life with Leukemia going forward. My type of Leukemia does not really have a cure. People who have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia with Philadelphia Chromosome Positive just hope to live as many years as possible.

... As I have said in the past, the chances of me living ten years with this deadly type of cancer is about 35%. I hope to beat the odds. I have been in touch with the Leukemia Society and they cannot even find me one person who has survived 10 years. That can be scary and sad for me at times.

... However..... I have always been a positive person and believe through the grace of God, I will be around for a long time. I really love life and people. I want to be around to enjoy my life, family & friends.

... I will continue blogging because I want to encourage and inspire people. I also love making people laugh or just smile. Sometimes I think about being a motivational speaker or writing a book. Maybe one day I will.

... Anyway... Thank you for following my blog and I hope you will all continue to do so. I have been blessed as well with all of your positive feedback. I love you all and God bless you all...
... P.S. See you at my next post... :-)

... P.S.S. The picture above is of my wife and I...

It was 3 years ago this month...

... It was November 2006, when my world was turned upside down. Life was going great. I was loving my life, my family, my friends and had a great business, when all of a sudden..... I began having severe pain in my lower back and fever with night sweats for a few days. I then decided to go for blood work.

... My Doctor called me "Thanksgiving Eve" at about 8pm and asked me to come to his office. He also asked me to have someone drive me there. I knew I was in trouble. I asked Isabel to drive me to his office. The Doctor looked at me and said: I'm sorry Lorenzo, you have Acute Leukemia. I fell face down on his desk and felt like my life was over.

... All I could think of was my 3 children who I loved so much and needed me so much. How could this happen to me ? Why me ? I was a good guy. Why, Why, Why me ? I guess its true what I learned a long time ago, no one on Earth is guaranteed a Rose Garden, we are only promised an Eternal garden if we have faith and believe.

... I was suppose to have Thanksgiving Day at my home... however... I spent Thanksgiving Day calling hospitals and crying. I originally called Sloan Kettering... however... they said there was no room and that I should call NY Presbyterian Hospital. NY Presbyterian told me to come in the next morning and get admitted.

... NY Presbyterian turned out to be a great hospital with lots of great people. I was very blessed to have been admitted there. They helped save my life. I will always give thanks to God first. I had lots of faith and prayed all the time.

... I want everyone out there to know this: Do not take anything for granted. You're lives can also be turned upside down at any time. Enjoy your life and health while you have it. Live, Laugh and Love. Always forgive and move on. I personally believe and have faith in almighty God. I cannot tell you to do the same. I can only tell you what God has done for me and I hope you too will also believe and put your faith and trust in God.

...Its been 3 years and I'm still here. Although medically I only have about a 30-35% chance to live 10 years, I know with God, I have a 100% chance to live 10 years.

... I'll go with God's odds. :-)

..... God Bless You All and have a Happy & Healthy Thanksgiving.......

..... Remember: We all have something to be Thankful for... :-)

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...

... In October 2009, I did my first fundraiser ever. It was called: "Light The Night Walk". I was never one to ask people to donate in the past. Then I said to myself, self.... just throw it out there and see what happens. The response was amazing and I raised over $ 3,000.00 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

... Just for the record... I do not get any money from that. I did it for the Society. Thank God I am financially secure and do not need any fundraisers for myself. However... I also know there are people out there who do need fundraisers for themselves and that is fine if its truly necessary.

... I know that many people have different organizations that they donate to and cannot donate to everyone who asks. However... if you are one who doesn't donate to any group and can afford to, I do hope you would find which organizations touch you personally and that you would make donations to them.

... In the past, I have donated to: Save the Children, The Red Cross, Diabetes foundation, Autism, The local Police & Firemen, My Church and a few other organizations. If you cannot afford to donate... that's understandable. If you can.... do it.
Remember: "It is more Blessed to give than to receive". I believe we have a moral obligation to help those in need.

... Any amount of money you decide to donate is better than nothing. Sometimes people think it has to be a large size donation to have any meaning. That's not true. For example: I have 500 friends on Facebook , if everyone donated just $ 10.00, that would have raised $ 5,000.00 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Everyone should give according to their financial ability. Also note that: "God loves a cheerful giver". (I read that in the bible).

... Anyway... I love everyone whether they donate or not. I just believe its nice to find which organizations touch us personally and then we should try and help.

... May God Bless us All. Especially those less fortunate...

My Friend Debbie's last post before she died...

... This is my friend Debbie's last post before she died. Debbie died May 18th, 2009. Debbie had the same rare and deadly type of Leukemia as me. Debbie was a few years younger than me. She died within 5 years of being diagnosed. I wanted to post it for all to see and I hope you really appreciate your lives.
... Here it goes :

... Deb's Last Blog Post:

I am writing this blog post to say a more proper goodbye to all the interweb peoples who have helped me keep it together. Who have given so much support to me through the years. Who are my friends and family. Who were strangers who became friends.
In my blog, I often give assignments for people to do. Here's the ones that are on my mind....

1. Appreciate everything. Even stupid stuff. Since I've been sick, I've communicated with a number of service members abroad. We understand each other well because we both know how much we miss just the normal stuff that most people take for granted. Driving. Driving in traffic. Complaining about stupid stuff is for people who have no idea how good they have it.

2. Be a force for good. There's enough bad stuff in the world without adding to it. Forgive people and leave grudges for others. Do kind things just because. Figure out what you are good at and do good with it.

3. Seek a higher power. I believe Jesus Christ is my savior and this gives me comfort. As it takes faith to believe, it takes faith not to believe. I believe God doesn't want us to live our lives on an island, and that finding a community of faith that is uplifting and supportive to you can make a huge difference in your life. If you have that cool. If you don't, consider it. But don't wait until you are looking death in the eye because you will miss out on some neat things.

4. If you have kids, squeeze them. And then squeeze them again. Give yourself a pat on the back if you are responsible and work hard to give your children a good life and better opportunities. Sometimes you don't give yourself enough credit. If you have people in your life that you love, tell them that. Often. Don't save your I love you's for a rainy day.

5. Take care of yourself. I understand more than most that there are injuries and illnesses that you can't prevent by eating well and moving, but that doesn't mean you should be fatalistic. Nothing like being hooked up to a respirator to make you appreciate just getting going, doing and breathing. Treat yourself at least as well as you treat your car--you put the right type of fuel in your car and you drive it safely most of the time--you are more important than a car so treat yourself that way.

6. Enjoy life. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and as long as it isn't hurting yourself or others, go for it. Bring joy to others. Find passions in your life that make you want to get out of bed in the morning, unless your passion is sleeping and then go ahead and sleep in.

7. Be open to new things. Listen. Doesn't mean you have to change your mind, but who knows, you might learn something.

8. Support sensible health insurance reform. I'm not sure what that ends up looking like, but injuries and illnesses shouldn't fate people into a life of insurmountable debt and bill collectors. I spent the last healthy months of my pre-hospital stay, worried and scrambling to find insurance because my COBRA insurance ran out. Patients should be able to focus on getting better and not crushingly large mountains of papers telling them that their credit is forever screwed.

9. Ask for help. This is a hard assignment. For a lot of people, it isn't easy to ask for help when you need it. But what I've discovered is that it is a part of the human condition for people to want to help those in need. People enjoy helping others. Sometimes you get help where you don't really expect it. So if you need help with something, go to the appropriate people and get it.
I sometimes think that the bad stuff that happens in life is one of the few things that bring people together. It still sucks, but maybe it sucks a little less.
There are too many people to thank for the help they gave me and my family over these difficult times. I would list you individually but am afraid I would leave someone important out. My last days have not been easy at all, but it has been a great comfort to know about all those who gave me prayers and love.
In my life, I've looked for love in a lot of wrong places, and as I die, it is nice to know I am surrounded by love.

10. Last assignment. There is no last assignment. You create your own assignments every day. Choose wisely.
However, my last assignment that I give to you is to take care of my 9 year old daughter Zoe the best you can. I love Zkat from infinity and beyond. I just am trying my hardest with what I can do from this stinkin bed to help her. I know she will be taken good care of in a house full of love, but I feel pain that I can't be physically with her any more to prepare her for a happy, long and healthy life.

... God Bless You Debbie.... Rest in Peace... Your friend... Larry

Graph versus Host Disease

... During 2009, I continue to battle Graph versus Host (GvH) Disease. Graph versus Host disease occurs because the new immune system from the donor's Marrow may identify the patient's body as foreign and try to destroy it. When the donor's immune cells in the Marrow attack the patient, many symptoms and side effects may result and in many cases the patient dies.

... The side effects I am dealing with on and off so far are; very dry eyes, dry mouth, some liver issues, some lung issues, extreme fatigue, rashes on the legs (those are gone now) and purple patches across the body (those are also gone now).

... I have what is called Chronic (GvH), Acute (GvH) is much more dangerous and many times leads to death. The problem is this; many patients started with Chronic and ended up with Acute. I just have to continue to stay positive and leave my life in God's hands. No one can stop themselves from dying when their time is up.

... As most of you know, My sister was the donor (Graph) and I was the patient (Host). I was very blessed to have my sister match. There is only about a 25% chance that a sibling is a match. That has given me a better chance of survival. Although my chances of surviving 10 years is still only about 30-35%. My two friends in the hospital did not match their sibling's marrow and they both died within 2 years.

... Anyway... I'm still here and very thankful. I love God, my family, my friends ( that includes my face book friends) and life. Life is beautiful. Enjoy it. Its a gift from God. I know life can also be very sad at times.

Hopefully our joys will overcome our sorrows.

... God bless us all.. See you at the next post.. :-)

I almost died from a Pneumonia...

... In January 2009, I almost died from a pneumonia. It all started out with a cold. From a cold it then became bronchitis. About a week later I had a pneumonia, with a fever, and could not breathe.

... I called my hematologist in NYC and she said come to the hospital right away. When I got in the car to drive to NYC, I started feeling worse and asked my wife to take me to the closest hospital. The closest hospital was Nyack Hospital. I couldn't breathe and my fever was getting worse.

... I was admitted to Nyack Hospital and was given my own room. The doctors/nurses at Nyack Hospital were told that I had Leukemia. They then realized I had a very poor immune system and this could be fatal.

... The doctors began taking X-rays and giving me medicine for my fever. My fever continued to climb. My fever had went up to 104 at night time. I felt so weak and dizzy. High fevers are much worse for adults than they are for kids. Also, a high fever with a pneumonia in both lungs was very dangerous for me. As i have said in the past, many cancer patients end up dying from a pneumonia.

...I remember waking up at about 3am and couldn't breathe. I did not have my wife or mom with me at the hospital that night. I was alone. I was choking because I had so much mucus/flem stuck in my throat. I began yelling for help and pushing the emergency button next to my bed. No one answered. I got out of bed and fell to the floor. I actually crawled on my hands and knees into the hallway screaming for help. Finally, a nurse came and helped me get up and put me in a chair.

... My lungs/chest/throat were so full of fluids, flem and mucus, I could hardly breathe. The nurse brought up a machine and had me breathe in and out of it. I eventually was able to spit out chunks of mucus/flem. (sorry for the details) I'm talking big green chunks.(sorry again). My fever remained high that evening.

... The next day my fever went down a little. I continued to fight this pneumonia for 11 days in the hospital. I once again knew this pneumonia can kill me, so I just prayed, stayed positive, and hoped for the best. What else could I do ? No doctors or nurses can guarantee I wouldn't die from this pneumonia in both lungs. I knew many have died in the past from a pneumonia that were battling cancer. Once again my life was in God's hands. I couldn't think of a better pair of hands to be in. :-)

... I was discharged 11 days later and was put on bed rest for about a month. I was very happy and thankful I had survived such a bad pneumonia. God has a plan for my life. As I have said before: I don't know what my future holds.... but I know who holds my future...
Can I get an Amen ??? :-)

... See you at my next post.
... The picture above is of Nyack Hospital.

We had to sell the Family business...

... In May of 2008, we had to sell the family business after 24 years. The business was called "Tanglewood Deli". I wasn't able to work after I was diagnosed with cancer (Leukemia). I had spent almost 5 months in the hospital when I got sick. My father was 67 years old when I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.(PH+)

... Our family owned a very successful Deli/Grocery store in Westchester County. We had about 20 employees working for us. We had bought the business when I was 21 years old. I gave that deli the best years of my life. It broke my heart to have to sell our business.

... My dad came to my house one day and asked me to sell the business when I was home from the hospital. My dad was covering for me at the deli and working about 60 hours a week while I was sick. My dad was 67 years old and it was hard for him to be on his feet for so many hours a week. My dad used to wake up every morning at about 3:15am and then get home at 4pm when he worked. That was a long day for him. My dad was also getting stressed out trying to run such a busy deli without me.

... As much as I agreed with my dad that the business had to be sold, it just really hurt me. I had always planned on passing the family business down to either both my sons or at least one of them. It was such a great business. It was one of the busiest deli's around. We were truly blessed with that store.

... I cried the day we sold the deli on May 1st, 2008. It was a very sad day for me. I was so upset that this ugly cancer could force me to sell the business. However... I then began to realize how blessed I was to be alive. The majority of people with my type of Leukemia have either died or are not doing that well. I realized that everything happens for a reason and I just had to sell the deli.

... Once i accepted the fact that the deli had to be sold, I felt better. Its not until we accept certain situations in life that we can begin to heal. My main focus on life is now to continue to love and enjoy my life, family and friends as much as possible until I take my last breath. I'm not out of the woods yet with this Leukemia and I still only have about a 35% chance to live 10 years. I will stay positive and continue to hope and pray to live a long life. As I have said before... I hope I live to see my grandchildren.

... If I gain most of my strength back and my immune system returns, I would like to open a business again. This time I may open up an Italian restaurant.

... You're all invited to the grand opening. Dinner and drinks are on me. We'll have Canarsie (Brooklyn) reunions there once a month. My lifetime friends, family and I will be in touch and always see each other till death due us part...... Buon Appetito.... :-)

We love NYC & I miss Canarsie...

... We came home from our little honeymoon on October 2nd, 2007 and we talked about how much we enjoyed NYC. We stayed local for our honeymoon because I am still battling Leukemia and have been very weak. We stayed in the Times Square area. It's one of our favorite spots. There is so much to see and do. We sometimes think about moving to NYC after all the kids are grown. (if we don't move to the Jersey Shore). We love being able to walk everywhere. Its nice not having to jump in a car to go everywhere. It reminds me of my Canarsie (Brooklyn) days.

... Up here in the suburbs, it seems you need a car for everything. If I need milk in the suburbs, I need the car, ....if I need to go to the dentist, I need the car, ......if I want to go to a movie, I need the car, ....if i want to go to McDonald's, I need the car.... and so on..... I think you all understand what I'm saying. Also, I never heard of play dates in my life until I moved up here. In my Canarsie (Brooklyn) days, us kids walked everywhere. We hardly bothered our parents for anything. I even had a paper route (The Canarsie Courier) at 8 years old.

... I use to ride my bike at 8 years old to the Canarsie train station and sell the papers to everyone getting off the "L" train at 6pm. The station was about 9 blocks from my house. Today's 8 year olds need a car ride to go 1 block on a play date. I walked to Seaview Park and played with my friends at 8 years old. I use to walk to the Canarsie Pier to go fishing and crabing at 10 years old. No one drove me around my own neighborhood when I was a kid.

... I know times have changed and its more dangerous today then it was back then. My point is, we were much more independent in the old days than kids are today. I wish my kids could have grown up in Canarsie as I did ( with all the great people that lived there). I miss the good old Canarsie days.

... Anyway... I do miss walking everywhere to get to where I need to go. It is also good exercise. NYC living is sounding better and better as I am writing this post on my blog. We'll have to wait and make a final decision after all the kids are grown up on where to move to. We have about 6 years to decide.....

... P.S. In Canarsie, my friends and I had to walk to school in rain, snow or sleet. No yellow buses picked us up and our parents didn't drive us. (and guess what.... we loved it !!! )...

... I'll see you all at my next post.

" Our Wedding Day "

... Our Wedding Day has arrived. We were married on September 23rd, 2007. We woke up and went out for breakfast that morning. After breakfast, I use to take about 15 pills a day to help me battle Leukemia. I would feel so nauseous and vomit at times after taking all those pills. I decided that the day of my Wedding, I would not take any pills. I didn't want to take a chance on getting nauseous or sick that day.

...It was a beautiful sunny day. I remember it well. It was about 70 degrees that day. We had our ceremony at Living Christ Church in Nyack, NY. We were married by Pastor Tim Petit. The ceremony was very nice.

... Isabel's mom was her maid of honor. My two sons were my best men. It was so special for me to see my boys at my wedding after almost dying in the hospital that same year. I always prayed in the hospital that God would let me live for my kids sake. I know my kids needed me so much. I love them so much.

...The reception was at Romolo's Italian Restaurant in Congers, NY. We had a piano player at our reception and Flamenco dancers.

( I had to get Flamenco dancers for my Spaniard wife :-). They were great. My closest friend Ralph and my brother in law Damon made beautiful speeches. I love those guys (in a straight way :-)...

... My wife and I made our own Disco CD and played that music for much of the evening. I was weak that day, however, I danced a lot. At one point, my heart was racing so fast, I thought I was going to pass out or have a heart attack. I had to take a valium and relax for a while.

...It was a beautiful Wedding. I cried at times because i wasn't sure if I would ever marry again after laying in the hospital on my death bed for about 5 months. I was very thankful and blessed.

... I wasn't allowed to travel more than an about an hour away from our house for our honeymoon. The doctors wanted me close to the hospital in case I got sick. My immune system was very, very poor and it was very easy for me to get sick. Many cancer patients get sick and die from pneumonia.

... I want to thank everyone who came to my Wedding and shared that special day with us. I believe everyone had a great time. Since we were not allowed to go far for our honeymoon, we decided to go to NYC for our honeymoon. We stayed at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square for three days.

... I'm not going to say much about our honeymoon. That's kind of private. ;-) I'll just say our honeymoon was a lot of fun. (How u doin !!!) We always love going into NYC. There'so much to see and do...

... See you at my next Blog....

Time to plan the Wedding...

...In the summer of 2007, Isabel (my fiance at the time) and I decided to set a wedding date. We decided to get married on September 23rd, 2007. I was still weak and taking a lot of medications at the time... however... we decided to get married and only had about 2 months to plan it.

...This was our second wedding. ( We all can't get it right the first time. ;-). Our second wedding was smaller than our first one. We only invited immediate family and a few local friends. I felt bad for the people who had to give me a second wedding gift. My Uncle Patsy told me that this was my last wedding gift. He's right, I think two weddings is more than enough.

... I think i would have to have my head examined to get married 3 times. I hope I didn't insult anyone. That's just my thought. Hopefully our second wedding will last till death due us part. I plan on staying married forever this time.

... We got everything done and we were ready for our wedding day. I was just having some anxiety because I was hoping I didn't get sick or have a relapse before the wedding. I was still very weak at the time. I had also just learned that my friend Matthew died, he had the same type of Leukemia as me. We were at NY Presbyterian Hospital together. It was tough planning a wedding when i knew there was a 75-80% chance of me dying at the time. However... the show must go on....

...In my next post I will talk about our Wedding Day... You're all invited... :-)

In Memory of my Friends...

... I'd like to dedicate this post to my 3 friends who passed away. I met these 3 guys during my 5 month stay at the hospital. Two of my friends had the same exact type of Leukemia as me. (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia with Philadelphia Chromosome Positive).

...As i had mentioned before, this type of Leukemia is one of the deadliest forms of cancer. It only has about a 20-25% chance of a 2 year survival and then a 30-35% chance of a 5 year survival. My other friend who passed away had Hodgkins Lymphoma. (which is also a form of blood cancer).

... Their names were Tommy, Russell and Matthew. My closest friend was Matthew. He was from Staten Island. Matthew was only 35 years old when i met him. He was only married a few months when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. We stayed on the same floor in the hospital during our battle with Leukemia. We would talk and walk around the 10th floor all the time. We always checked on each other and developed a special bond.

... Matthew and his wife came to visit me in my room when i had first gotten admitted to the hospital. They were so full of hope and encouragement. They gave me strength and energy. I'm thankful for that. Matthew had been admitted about 4 months before me. Matthew was in remission when i met him. He was waiting to find a match for a Bone Marrow transplant. His sibling did not match.

...My mom became good friends with Matthew's mom. They would always see each other at the hospital. Matt's mom and wife are beautiful people. Matthew was also a beautiful person. We talked about always being friends after we both left the hospital.

... Matthew passed away on July 29th, 2007. He was only 36. When the doctors told me about Matthew dying, I cried so much. It was personal to me. He was a special guy. I still hurt over Matthew's death. I miss you buddy. I'll never forget you...

...Tommy and Russell also passed away. I'm not sure when. Russell was from NYC and Tommy was from New Jersey. The 4 of us were on the 10th floor battling cancer together. I was the oldest.

... Why did they die and not me ? Will i die next ? No one knows the answers to these questions. Only God knows the beginning to the end. All I know is this, I am very blessed and thankful to be alive. I cried out to God all the time while i was in the hospital. I wanted to live to see my kids become independent. I hope i live to see my grandchildren one day. I'm doing better... however.. I'm not out of the woods.

... I will enjoy my life as much as possible until i take my last breath. I will love my family and friends. I will not take anything for granted. I will be thankful to God for all that i have. I hope you will all do the same and not wait to get sick or cancer before you feel the same way.

... So i say to my friends who passed away... I will always remember you guys. I don't know why I am here and you are not. Rest in peace my friends. May God bless you & your families....

Infection & bump in my Chest...

... While i was home trying to recover, a bump began to pop out of my chest. After about 2 weeks, it was the size of a ping pong ball. I went to the hospital and my doctor sent me to get an x-ray and see a surgeon.

(This occurred around June 2007).

... It turned out that I had an infection in my chest that must have happened when they had cut my chest open to remove the port. Anyone can get an infection when they cut you open for any type of surgery.

... The surgeon asked me if could spend a few hours at the hospital. He wanted to do the surgery right there by his office. I told him i was ready for the surgery. I have to say, I was always ready, (scared), but ready.

...The doctors/surgeons had to give me several needles around the bump to numb the area. About 30 minutes later, he took the knife and cut open the infection. There was blood and puss coming out. The doctor had to drain it all out.

... I was sent home an hour later to rest and go on anti-biotics. It was just another day at the office for me. :-) After already having my throat and jugular vein sliced open 3 times, slicing my chest was a walk in the park.

... I did recover and the infection went away. I still have the scar on my chest. Good old memories. As long as I'm here... I'm happy... ;-)

...See you at my next post...

Anorexia...

... After being home about 2 months, I continued to lose weight. I was getting very close to becoming anorexic. At this point, I had lost about 60 pounds. The Doctors told me that i may have to get a feeding tube soon. Feeding tubes usually go through your stomach or neck. I chose the stomach if it became necessary.

...The doctors wanted me to try a medication called "Megace". Megace is a liquid medication that treats anorexia. It also treats unexplained or continued weight loss.

...I had my doubts about Megace. I didn't think there was a drink that could make me want to eat. However... it was my last chance before the feeding tube would go in.

...Well.... I gotta tell you... after a few days of "Megace", I was eating like a horse. (Do horses really eat a lot ?). Anyway.... I slowly began to gain some weight and i was very happy about that. I was eating so much "pasta" and other foods. I couldn't believe how well megace worked for me.

... I began enjoying food and desserts again. People who know me... know that i enjoy eating good foods and desserts. One of my favorite pasta dishes is: Pasta with fresh tomato sauce and eggplants. That's a Sicilian dish. I'm drooling thinking about it. My favorite dessert is Flan. My aunt Dee (Letizia) makes it the best. (hint-hint if your reading this Dee)...

... Anyway... I'm very thankful and blessed that i did not have to get a feeding tube. I suffered enough. I have to catch a break sometimes.

... So i say to everyone... Enjoy your food, be thankful we live in a country that always has food, and help feed those who are hungry.

Have a great day everyone.
Today is Rosh Hashanah.
Happy Rosh Hashanah to all...

Vestibular Therapy...

... I continued to suffer with ringing in my left ear and dizzy spells when i came home from the hospital. I had to begin going for Vestibular Therapy every week at the Hospital.

... The therapist said that she believed that the crystals in my left ear were clumped together and causing ringing in my ear and dizzy spells. I never heard of crystals in the ear. I asked her if she's sure it wasn't wax. She said that was not the problem.

... The therapy consisted of her taking turns and banging each side of my head on a table with a thick mat on it. I thought she was nuts. I was getting headaches and nausea. The therapist said she was trying to break up the clump of crystals. I told her to just keep punching me in the head... maybe that will work.. :-0

...I did this for about 4 weeks with no results, except for many headaches and vomiting. I told them i was quiting therapy and would rather hope the ringing and dizzy spells get better on their own.

...Its been two and a half years later and it has gotten better. Its not gone. Just better. I still get ringing and dizzy spells...however... not as bad as i use to get them.

...As i have said before, this Leukemia with a Transplant has so many side effects. Most of us have to live with them until we die...

...In my next post i will talk about the doctor wanting to put a feeding tube in my stomach. I was becoming anorexic...

I'm home from the Hospital...

...It was now April, 2007. I loved being back in my own home. However, the Leukemia side effects and issues came home with me and i would continue to have problems from this ugly cancer. People who have had a Bone/Stem Cell Transplant know that it doesn't end when we go home.

... Leukemia with a transplant has many different side effects. I was having severe ringing in my ears. I had many bad dizzy spells. I also had Graph verses Host disease. That's when the body is fighting the transplant. Many times our bodies try to reject a transplant, whether it be a heart, kidney, liver or Bone Marrow Transplant.

... Some of the side effects i had from graph verses host were very dry eyes and mouth. They had to plug my tear ducts. They told me it would help. It really didn't do much. I also had to use special toothpaste and rinse. That did help a little. I had also developed purple patches throughout my body. They are gone now. The doctor said it was caused by my liver. I was having liver issues from the graph verses host disease.

...I was and still am very anemic. That is diagnosed from my red blood cells. It is not from low iron. I was so weak and always exhausted when i came home from the hospital. I continued to lose weight. I was also nauseous all the time because i had to pop about 20 pills a day. I was taking: anti-rejection pills, anti-viral pills, anti fungal pills, anti-bacteria pills, anti-biotic pills, anti-nausea pills, antacid pills, steroids and a few other drugs i can't remember.

...I was hardly eating and had to take all these pills. I was so nauseous that I would vomit in whatever room i was in. Sometimes the kitchen, the living room, the bedroom, the bathroom, etc... My poor wife had to always clean up after me. ( actually, she was my fiance at the time).That's love. Cleaning up vomit from all over. That's special. :-)

... I will continue discussing my Leukemia at home in my next post. Hope to see you all again... Have a great day...

...The picture above is our home in Rockland County, NY...

Reunited at the Hospital...

... My sister Nellie and her husband were separated for a few years before i was diagnosed with Leukemia. I remember seeing them both in my room while i was laying in bed sick and scared. I said to myself, self, :-)
I would love to see them get back together.

... I love my sister Nellie and I always loved my sisters husband (Damon). In a straight way. :-)
I knew him before he dated my sister. I thought he was a great guy when i only knew him as a customer in my Deli. I was very hurt and upset when they had gotten separated.

...I was hoping that if one good thing would come out of me having cancer (Leukemia), it would be that my sister and Damon got back. I really wanted them to get back and so did their children. I remember asking Nellie's son on his birthday what he wished for on his birthday, he told me he wished for his daddy to come back home. I never forgot that. I was very moved. I'm an emotional guy.

... Nellie and Damon started dating again and eventually were able to work things out. They are back together and enjoying their life and family. I was very happy for the two of them and all of our families. I wonder what their son will wish for on his next birthday. I'm glad his wish came true and his daddy's back home.

... I always tell married people with children to try their hardest to work things out. I hate divorce. Even though i was once divorced myself. I had tried hard to work things out for a while, however, when i thought i was having a heart attack a few times, i knew it was time to leave...

... The picture above is of my sister Nellie and her husband (Damon) at Pier Village Beach, NJ. (August 2009)...
Reunited and it feels so good... :-)

See you at my next post...

Chemo in my Brain & Spine...

...I was about to be discharged in April, 2007 from NY Presbyterian. Before i was discharged, they told me they had to give me Chemo in my Spine and Brain. The Doctors said that the cancer (Leukemia) could be hiding there and wanted me to get one more round of Chemo before I left the Hospital.

...I wasn't happy to hear that, however, I trusted my Doctors and had the Chemo injected into my spine. I was on a bed that was turned upside down and that would allow the Chemo (fluids) to flow to my brain. I felt weak and sick afterwards. At that point, I was use to feeling that way. I was in the hospital for about 5 months. Its was 5 months of torture.

...I was actually nervous about going home. I was so use to having so many doctors and nurses around me. Anytime I needed help, I would just push the button and the nurses showed up.

...I think some of the doctors and nurses were going to miss me as well. I would make them laugh whenever i felt okay. I use to also play the theme song to "Rocky" in the morning while they gave me a check up. That theme song always gave me a nice boost of energy.

...My bags were packed and I was going home to continue my recovery. I sure did miss my home and big television. It'll be nice to be near all my family and friends again. Although i couldn't taste much, i was looking forward to home cooked meals. That hospital food is not for me. My family will be coming to the hospital and taking me home soon. So long Leukemia floor. I hope i only have to go back there to visit and say hello to all the wonderful nurses, doctors and employees...

...See you all at my next post...

The Filter and Port were removed from me.

... The Doctors thought that the fever i have been running might be coming from the Port or Filter in my body. The Doctors ordered 2 surgeries for me with different dates.

... The surgeons had to slice open my neck and jugular vein again to remove the Port (which was used for my Stem Cell Transplant, blood work and anti-biotics). They also had to slice my chest open and take out the Port.

...The surgeons then got to see me another day to cut my neck & jugular vein open again to remove the filter which ran to my heart to keep the blood thin because of the blood clot that was still in my lung.

... The nights before those surgeries were very hard for me. I could hardly sleep. Just thinking that my throat & jugular vein would be sliced open made me feel so scared and sick. I did get drugged up before the procedures...however...i was awake and did feel pain and much discomfort.

...After both surgeries, my fever did break and i was able to get out of bed and walk around the hospital. The Doctors always wanted me to walk and get some exercise. I once met Mary Tyler Moore & Geraldine Ferraro at the hospital. They were both very nice.

... In my next post i will continue to discuss my stay at the Hospital before i was discharged.

Fever for 19 days straight...

... As if i didn't have enough problems, now i began to run a fever in the hospital which would last 19 days straight. This happened during the month of February, 2007. Having a fever for just a few days is awful, however, having one for 19 days is draining and scary.

... I don't know about you, but when i get fever, I feel very weak, dizzy, i have a headache, i feel nauseous and i can hardly get out of bed. The Doctors would be taking anywhere from 6 to 12 tubes of blood from me each day. They needed to culture the blood constantly and try and find out why i had this fever that wouldn't break.

...Fevers were very dangerous for me because i had a close to zero immune system and would not be able to fight most infections. People with transplants can die from infections because of their weak immune system. Most of the people who died from the Swine Flu this past year also had very weak immune systems.

...My fever finally broke after 19 days and the Doctors never knew why i had that fever. However... after 3 days, i began to run a fever again which lasted about another 19 days straight. I was getting scared and felt so weak. I continued losing weight and would just pray that if it was my time to go, I didn't want to suffer with pain.

...At this point i had lost about 50 pounds since i was diagnosed. I was close to being anorexic. I was in pretty good shape before i got sick. I really couldn't afford to lose any weight. This nightmare which began in November, 2006 was still continuing in March, 2007.

...In my next post i will discuss what they did that finally broke my fever. Imagine having fever for 38 out of 41 days. Its crazy...

Legionnaires Disease in the Hospital...

...I got a letter one day in my room which stated that no one was to use the Hot water because they found traces of Legionnaires Disease in the Hot water. They said i could only use the cold water. I couldn't believe it. I even thought of transferring Hospitals and going across the street to Sloan Kettering Hospital.

...I'm not one who can take cold showers everyday. The hospital began to give patients packets of cloths with soap and water. We would then put the packets in the microwave and heat up the cloths. Isabel (my girlfriend at the time) would have to Cloth Bathe me whenever she was at the hospital with me. My mom would also have to cloth bathe me when Isabel was not at the hospital. (just for the record, I always wore boxers when my mom would cloth bathe me).

...I also was not able to shave until my Platelet counts went up. Platelet counts usually range from 150,000 to 450,000. My Platelet counts went down to around 10,000. Because of my Stem Cell Transplant, the Chemo & Radiation destroyed most of my blood cells. Platelets circulate in the blood and lead to the formation of blood clots. If i was to shave and cut myself, i would bleed excessively. Since my platelet counts were so low, my blood would not be able to clot and stop the bleeding.

...I couldn't shave for about 6 weeks and had a beard. I was eventually given Platelet transfusions and was then able to shave again. I was not able to shower until i was discharged from the hospital. We all take simple things like taking a shower for granted. I really missed being able to take a nice hot shower. It felt so good when i was discharged and took that beautiful hot shower at home. I think i stayed in the shower for about an hour the first time and was just so grateful.

...In my next post i will discuss the fever i had for about 19 days straight.

The Nurses & The Volunteers...

...I'd like to dedicate this post to all the wonderful Nurses & Volunteers at NY Presbyterian Hospital. I am very grateful for all the help, patience, love, time, expertise and "Foot Massages". Yes, i said foot massages. I began a new trend at that hospital. The volunteers would come into my room everyday and ask what they could do for me. The volunteers would ask if i wanted to play cards, board games or just talk. I would usually say no thank you.

Then one day, i asked the supervisor (her name was Trish) if the volunteers could give me a foot massage everyday. Trish never had that request before. After some thought, Trish (the volunteer supervisor) said it would be okay as long as they wore gloves. I said gloves would be fine and i supplied the moisturiser.

...Almost everyday, a different volunteer would come in my room and give me a 20-30 minute foot massage. It felt so good. I felt that if i was going to suffer and possibly die, i would have some joy while i was going through it.

...All the nurses were great, except one. I will not mention her name (even though i should). One night i felt so sick, i went to hold that nurses' arm and she yelled at me not to touch her. I told her that she was in the wrong profession. I asked her how she could be so cruel to a patient that might be dying. I told her i wasn't contagious. I was just feeling very sick and scared at that moment. I complained to the supervisor and never had that nurse again.

...Just for the record, some of my nurses were men. I found that hard to understand at first. Remember, I'm from Brooklyn, i never heard of any guy from Brooklyn being a nurse when i lived there. If i told my friends in Brooklyn i wanted to be a nurse (Fugettaboutit...) i would have gotten a real Brooklyn beaten. However, the male nurses were just as good as the female nurses.

...So again... My sincere heartfelt thanks to all the wonderful nurses and volunteers (except this one girl nurse) for everything they did for me.
God Bless You All.....

...Anyone who has some extra time should really think about volunteering. I was truly blessed by them. There's a special, beautiful inner joy that comes from volunteering.
Remember, God said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive".

...In my next post i will talk about not being able to shave or shower for a few months. (I didn't smell). I'll explain in my next post....

Hallucinations & Vertigo...

...I'll never forget the nights i was put on Morphine because i was in so much pain. All the other pain killers didn't work. My mom was staying with me one night and had a small bed next to mine.

...I woke up between 2-4am and started yelling out for help because i thought i was on fire. I wanted someone to call the Fire department. I thought i died and then passed out. I then woke up again a little later and began yelling out for help because i thought i was being stabbed to death. Once again i thought i died and passed out. I woke up a third time and yelled out for help because i thought i was being shot to death.

I call that : " The Night I Died 3 Times". My poor mom was just laying there and didn't know what to do. I laugh as i think about it now. It was scary then.

...There was another night when I hallucinated. This time Isabel was sleeping in the small bed next to mine. I woke up in the middle of the night and yelled out to Isabel: "I'm sorry honey, i tried, i can't take it anymore, i can't beat this Leukemia, I'm going to die now, say goodbye to everyone and tell them i love them."
I then passed out and went back to sleep. The doctors had told me i may hallucinate on morphine, I didn't believe them. I'm a believer now. I hope i never need morphine again.

...I also developed some Vertigo & dizzy spells after the Transplant. I couldn't even walk myself to the bathroom when i had vertigo. I had to be escorted to the bathroom. I would feel so nauseous when i had vertigo. I would sometimes drop to the floor and vomit. I rarely ever get vertigo anymore, I do however, still get dizzy spells from time to time.

...I will discuss more events that occurred during my six weeks in the hospital after my transplant in my next post...

Post Stem Cell Transplant...

... I woke up feeling lifeless from my Stem Cell Transplant. I was so weak and drained. My blood counts were very poor and they told me it would take a very long time to get my blood counts up.

...For example: My white blood count was down to 300. My average white blood count before i was diagnosed was around 9000. The White Blood Cells (WBC'S) are important because they are cells of the immune system defending the body against both infectious diseases and foreign materials.

...The Doctor's let me know that my body might not even be able to fight off a cold or sore throat. Since i had a very, very poor immune system, my body could not fight for me. I was put in an isolation room. Everyone was suppose to always put on gloves, a gown and a mask before they entered my room.

... There were no regular rooms left on the Leukemia floor, i ended up getting a suite on that floor for no extra charge. It really was a nice room. It was about 400 square feet and had windows all around it. I had the corner unit and had a great view of the East river. I was told that John Gotti Sr.'s wife was at my hospital around the same time as me for some type of surgery and also had a suite. I felt important.

... As the days went on after my transplant, i continued to get weaker & weaker. I could hardly eat and was losing more weight. All i could eat was graham crackers with jelly and chicken broth with some rice. The Chemo & Radiation had temporarily destroyed my taste buds. Everything tasted like metal to me.

...People really need to appreciate being able to taste and enjoy food. Healthy people take so much for granted. Anyone of us can get sick at anytime and have our world turned upside down. Lets all not sweat the small stuff and enjoy our life & be thankful for our health. I hear so many people complaining about non-sense.

... I will continue to discuss what went on the next 6 weeks while i stayed in isolation in my next post. I developed vertigo and had some scary hallucinations.

The " Stem Cell Transplant "...

...Its Friday, January 26th 2007. The Stem Cell Transplant would begin at about 9pm and end at about 5am Saturday, January 27th. Some doctors, nurses and patients would say that January 27, 2007 is my new birthday. I was about to get an entire new immune system, DNA, Stem cells and blood type. My blood type was O+ and my sister was B+. My blood type is suppose to eventually change and become my sister Nellie's blood type. (B+).

...The doctors said i may also be getting many of her personal symptoms. I may get her same allergies, headaches and so on. I told the doctors: I just hope i do not get a menstrual cycle or need to buy some bra's ..lol.. We all laughed at that one. I always seemed to keep my sense of humor most of the time with the staff.

...The day of my Transplant i had my Mom, Dad, Isabel, my sister Nellie and her husband at the hospital. My sister Nellie had to take Nuprigen shots everyday the week before the Transplant and had pain in her bones. Nuprigen shots were give to increase her white blood cells. Its given to the donors the week before the transplant. Its known to cause bone pains.

... The procedure begins with my sister Nellie having to sit in a chair for about 6-7 hours and not move. They put a bigger than usual needle in her left arm and began to draw out blood and let in run through a machine. The machine would take all the Stem Cells it needed and then return the rest of her blood back into her right arm. Nellie was feeling weak and her lips began to shake. Her body was being depleted of calcium and they had to give her calcium pills. My sister felt very beat up and weak when she was done. Nellie started the procedure at about 10am and was done at about 5pm. The next day, Nellie felt fine... ( I'm happy about that ).

...I was just waiting nervously in my room upstairs. I was just hoping and praying my body would accept the transplant. Our bodies are all build with an immune system to naturally refuse foreign organs or stem cells. Whether it be a heart, kidney or stem cell transplant. That's why they had to destroy my immune system before my transplant. That is the best chance for my body to accept it. It doesn't guarantee acceptance, it just gives one a higher success rate.

...At about 9pm, the doctors and nurses came into my room and connected me to several IV's. There were several bags hanging on the pole with anti-biotics, bags of Stem Cells, IV fluids and a few other fluids/medications in those bags. During my 8 hours of getting my sister's Stem Cells, I had a bad case of the chills and fever. My entire body was also shaking for many hours. I was so cold, they had to put many blankets on me. I was up until about 5am that morning and was drained. I then fell asleep with a strong injection of Benadryl.

...My next post will talk about the next few days and about my room in isolation. They told me a cold or sore throat could lead to my death....
...Note: The above picture is a pole with the bags for Stem Cell Transplants...

Full Body Radiation....

... After 3 days of very high doses of Chemo, it was now time to start Full Body Radiation. Since Leukemia is a blood cancer and i needed a transplant, i had to be radiated from head to toe. Most people only get Radiation pointed to where the cancer actually exists. With Leukemia & other blood cancers, we have cancer from head to toe because its in our blood. The doctors wanted to make sure they killed most of the cells inside me before my body would get the Stem Cell Transplant.

...It was Monday morning and at about 9am they came with a wheel chair to escort me to the Radiation room. I was very weak after all the Chemo and the Radiation would only make me weaker. I needed that wheel chair.

...I was then basically tied up while i was standing. I felt like i was wrapped up in a strait jacket. They didn't want me to move. The doctors & nurses then closed this very thick door and started zapping me from top to bottom. One patient told me it was like getting Nuked. I felt no pain... however... i began having an anxiety attack from being wrapped up and not being able to move.

...I yelled out to stop and they did. They then had to give me Valium to relax and we then continued the procedure for about 30 minutes. When i finished, they said they would come get me in my room again at about 4pm and do it all again. This procedure went on twice a day (30 minutes each time) from Monday-Thursday. I had several anxiety attacks during that week. The Valiums worked great. (maybe too good). I was starting to enjoy feeling very relaxed. I began asking for Valiums to go to sleep on certain nights. I usually only took 5-10 milligrams at a time.

...By Thursday afternoon i was drained and feeling sick. I couldn't really eat and I was losing weight. The next day was Friday and they told me i would be getting my Stem Cell Transplant at about 8pm Friday night. My sister Nellie would have to be at the hospital Friday morning and get ready to be my beautiful donor. I was a nervous wreck Thursday night and took a Valium to go to sleep... Tomorrow is the big day...

...In my next post i will go through the Stem Cell Transplant procedure..

I was readmitted for my Bone Marrow Transplant...

...I was readmitted to the hospital on January 18th, 2007. I had to get ready for my Transplant. The Doctor who would be handling my transplant procedure was Dr. Tsiporah Shore. She is the associate director of The Bone Marrow & Stem Cell Transplantation program at NY Presbyterian Hospital.

Dr. Shore is a wonderful woman and so is her assistant. (Jesse).

... The doctors told me i would be getting very high doses of Chemo the next 3 days. The doctors needed to destroy most of my good blood cells & immune system before i was injected with my sister's Stem Cells. The doctors decided that i would have a Stem Cell Transplant (SCT) instead of a Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT).

...The difference is this : In a BMT, they would put the donor out with anesthesia and put a big needle in their lower back (the hip bone) and draw out blood for about 2-3 hours. The donor will then feel some pain when they wake up that lasts a few days.... In a SCT, the donor (my sister Nellie) is awake and laying down for about 8 hours and having blood drawn from her vein. There is no pain during or afterwards. The blood then goes through a machine and they take out a couple of bags of her Stem cells. They then hook up the bags to my vein in either my neck or arm and give me her Stem cells. I was so happy they chose to go with my arm.

...Before they could begin the transplant, I had to get surgery to put a blood filter in my neck and connected to my heart. I needed that because of my blood clot in my lung. The filter was used as a blood thinner. They sliced my neck and jugular vein open and ran the filter down to my heart. I was put on local anesthesia. I did feel some pain and discomfort.

...( I wish i was back in Italy on vacation. I had just gotten back from Italy when i was diagnosed with Leukemia)...

...I began the high doses of Chemo on Friday and had it round the clock until Sunday. I was getting weaker and sicker. I was laying there scared and hopeful. After the 3 days of Chemo (Fri-Sun.) they told me i would be getting 4 days of high doses of Full Body Radiation. That would take place from Monday-Thursday.

...I will continue the pre- Stem Cell Transplant procedure in my next post. Have a great day... Lorenzo

...The picture above is of Venice, Italy... (I've been thinking about taking a nice vacation to Venice lately).

My 4 weeks at home before the Transplant...

...I was at home for the next 4 weeks waiting to be readmitted to the hospital for my Bone Marrow Transplant. So many thoughts and emotions are running through my mind. I spent most of my time laying on the couch in the living room and watching the news on T.V.

...As i watch the news, I see all the U.S. soldiers that are dying in the Iraq war. I also see all other kinds of tragedies going on in people's life all around the country. I realized that instead of me saying: Why me ? , Why me ?, so many times.... I then began to say: Why not ?. Why not me ? Who am I to be guaranteed a long life full of health ? Our soldiers were dying for our freedom, people were dying of diseases all over the world, people were being murdered for no reason, planes had crashed and killed innocent children and so on.

...I then began to be thankful for the life I had up to that point. I was so blessed to have had a beautiful family & great friends growing up in Canarsie, Brooklyn. I was blessed to have had 3 beautiful children to love, raise and enjoy. (My children were 16, 14 and 12 when i was diagnosed). I was blessed with a beautiful girlfriend named Isabel who gave up her life for me and wanted to take care of me .I was blessed to have done much traveling in my life. I was blessed to always have food on the table, clothing on my back and a roof over my head.

...At that point, I had accepted the fact that the odds were against me living and if it was my time to go...... i told God i was ready. I also got a piece of paper and wrote a goodbye letter to my children. I added that letter in my will.

...I once read (in a commentary) that God never promised us a Rose Garden here on Earth, God promised us an Eternal Garden, if we believe, trust and give our hearts to God, we will spend our eternity with him. We will have trials & tribulations here on Earth. No one knows when death will knock at our door. We just need to be ready when its our time to go.

...I then began reading the book of Proverbs from the Old Testament almost everyday. In my opinion, that book is full of more Wisdom & common sense then any book from any College or University in the world. (Take a peek some day).

...So many people would ask me what they could do for me... all i would answer is : just say a prayer for me. What else can anyone really do for me when I only have about a 20-25% chance of survival ? I do thank everyone for asking. I was filled with lots of love all around me. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers...

...My next blog will talk about the pre-Bone-Marrow-Transplant procedure at the hospital when i was readmitted.

" The Proposal " .. (also known as the Engagement)

...While i was in the hospital during the month of December 2006, I asked my brother-in law, Damon, (my sister Nellie's husband) to please go to the jeweler for me and pick the engagement ring I had ordered while I was at the hospital. I had called the Jeweler a few days earlier and told him the size, shape & clarity I wanted. My brother-in-law picked up the ring for me and I had it in the hospital with me. (I love my brother-in-law Damon by the way).

...I originally was going to propose to Isabel while I was in the hospital, however, after some thought, I decided to propose when I went home to rest and wait for the Bone Marrow Transplant.

...It was December 23rd 2006, I was temporarily discharged from the hospital and was home alone with Isabel. Isabel had the house nice and decorated for the holidays and the Christmas tree was up and lit. At about 9pm, I closed all the lights in the house except the Christmas tree lights and asked Isabel to come by the tree with me.

...I told Isabel I would like to say a prayer with her. I began praying to God and asking God to help me survive this Leukemia. I also was thanking God for my life up to that point and thanked God for all my blessings. I then thanked God for putting Isabel in my life and told God how much I loved Isabel.....

..I then dropped to one knee (I'm old fashioned like that) and said :

..Isabel, I Love You & want to spend whatever days I have left with you, will you Marry me ? Isabel began crying tears of joy for about 10 minutes and then said "YES". We then hugged, kissed and etc, etc.... (how u doin !!! )

...I will end this blog on a happy note. The next blog will talk about what I did for the next 4 weeks & what was going on in my mind before the readmission to the hospital for my Bone Marrow Transplant.

...Note: The picture above is a bunch of flowers i bought for Isabel...

Back to the Emergency room....

...After only being discharged two days earlier, I woke up at about 2am with sharp, knife pains in my lower back. It was the most pain i ever had in my life. I fell to the floor in the bathroom and screamed for Isabel to wake up and drive me to the Emergency room at NY Presbyterian. We first had to call my mom at 2am to come over and watch Isabel's son at our home. Isabel's son, Nico, was only 9 at the time.

...As Isabel and I were in the car driving to NYC at about 2:30 in the morning, I began screaming from the pain. I told Isabel i was about to passout.... Isabel yelled out: please don't pass out, I don't know how to get to the hospital in the dark. I ended up being able to stay up and screamed all the way to the hospital.

...We were in the Emergency room for 13 hours and i had so many tests done...however...they could not find where the pain was coming from. I was put on pain killers (oxycontin) and readmitted to the hospital. After a few more days of testing, they found the problem. I had a Fatal bloodclot in my right lung. My right lung by then had also partly collapsed and my right lung filled with blood. I was spitting up blood for the next 2 days.

...I had to begin to go on Lovenox everyday. Lovenox is a blood thinner used to help the bloodclot. It was injected in me twice a day by needles in either my stomach, back of my arms or legs. The Doctors believe the Bloodclot was probably caused by all the Chemo. I was just happy that they finally found out where the pain was coming from. A bloodclot in the lung is fatal and a person can die at any minute.

...I was then discharged again from the hospital on December 23rd, 2006. I was so happy to be able to spend Christmas with the family. I had lost about 40 pounds at this time and was looking forward to some good home cooked meals from my mom & Isabel. I was told i could stay home until January 18th, 2007. I then had to go back to the Hospital and get ready for the Bone Marrow Transplant...

...My next blog will talk about "The Proposal" (sounds like a movie :-)....
I had my brother-in-law pick me up an engagement ring while i was in the hospital.... I will share the story in my next blog.... Have a great day everyone....

...Note: The picture above is Isabel & her son Nicolas (Nico) at the Monmouth Mall...

The greatest Phone Call of my Life...

... My sister Nellie and my girlfriend Isabel (who is now my wife) called me at the hospital and told me my sister Nellie had to tell me something. My sister Nellie got on that phone and said that her DNA test results were in and that we were a perfect match for the Bone Marrow Transplant. I began crying like a baby, as did my sister, Isabel and my mom. I never cried that much in my life. I cried on and off for days. I still cry when i think about it. The doctors told me that a match will greatly increase my chance of survival. I was so happy and thanked God we were a match. I also thanked my parents for having a second child.... lol
...The next step was to schedule a date for the Bone Marrow Transplant. They set the date for January 27th, 2007. They told me i would have to go on a very intense pre-transplant procedure.
...In the meantime, i was in temporary remission from the Cancer cells in my blood. They asked me if i wanted to go home for Christmas and rest at home until my transplant. I was immune compromised at the time and had to keep away from people.
...I had recently had a port put in my chest to draw blood from and get my
anti-biotics from. I was running a fever before discharge and was told i had developed a staph infection. They asked me if i wanted to stay in the hospital during the next 4 weeks and get anti-biotics for my infection or go home and take them. I decided to go home and get treated there. I had to wear a backpack with a pump in it connected to the port in my chest to get my liguid anti-biotics 20 hours a day. I slept with that backpack for a month on my back. I'm glad i always use to sleeping on my stomach anyway. The pump would jam many times at nights and Isabel and i would be up for hours trying to fix it or call the 24 medical hotline to help us.
...Isabel and I were going out about 2 years when i was diagnosed. When i was discharged around December 15th, 2006, I asked her to move in with me. She gracefully accepted and boy did she have her hands full. I asked her if she was sure she can handle all this... i told her she could leave me and have an easier life.
I didn't want to put her through all this.
...Isabel said: I feel like i was put on this earth to love you and take care of you. Say no more... I told her she was in... :-)
..Isabel had to flush my port lines everyday, bathe me everyday (how u doin !!!) :-)
and so much more.
She has been a true blessing to me, sent by God.
Thank you Honey. I LOVE YOU....
...My next post will tell about how & why i collapsed at home at 2am and was taken back to the emergency room for 13 hours...
...Stay tuned. Same bat channel/same bat time.... :-)
* That was from the batman shows i enjoyed as a kid...

...Note... That is a picture of Lorenzo & his sister Nellie. (My Bone Marrow Donor). Thank you Nellie. I love you !!!!

Needles and Chemo....

... Once i was admitted, i was introduced to the doctors and specialists that would be taking care of me. Dr. Roboz was the assistant director of Leukemia at the the time and helped me very much with her positive attitude.
... Since Leukemia is a blood cancer, i was always getting poked with needles and getting blood drawn from me. I would have to give anywhere from 5 to 15 viles of blood a day. They would draw blood with those needles from my arms, top of my hands, fingers and wrist. I was black and blue all over. I still couldn't believe what i was going through and would start saying: why me ? why me ?
... It was now time to start my Chemo treatments. They put a bunch of bags on a long pole. I had to get about 5 different types of Chemo round the clock for a few days each week. Chemo is a poison that is used to destroy the cancer cells, it also destroys the good cells. It made me sick and nauseous. It also destroyed my taste buds. Everything tasted like metal to me. Even water didn't taste good. I could hardly eat and was losing weight everyday.
...I was very blessed to always have my family & girlfriend (Isabel) around me 24/7. Isabel quit her job and stayed with me at the hospital most of the day and night for about 14 days. They allowed her to sleep in the room everynight. Isabel and my mom then started taking turns staying at the hospital all day & night with me.
...I wanted to live..I love life...however...I'm a realist and knew that i could die any day and wanted someone to be there with me all the time.
... I am very thankful & blessed for the love and support i got from family and most friends. Some people disappointed me...however... i will not get into that. I still love them.
...The next step was doing a DNA test from my sister Nellie to see if she would be a match for a Bone Marrow Transplant.
The doctors at the time said i needed a Bone Marrow Transplant to have a better chance to survive..
A sibling only has about a 25% chance of being a match. They said if Nellie wasn't a match... they would try and find a match somewhere around the world. However... a sibling match would be best.
...After about 3 weeks of Chemo, i was put into temporary remission. The doctors said there was a 90-95% chance of relapse if i didn't get the Transplant and that the sooner i get the transplant.... the better.
...Most patients with my type of Leukemia would have a hard time to survive if they relapsed before the transplant.
...During my stay at the hospital i was also getting many blood transfusions. I'm thankful for all the blood donors out there.
God Bless You Donors.
You are all life savers. I encourage all to donate blood if possible.
You never know when you're going to need it.
...My next blog will talk about the most important phone call of my life...
Stay tuned.. Have a nice weekend everyone.. :-)

...Note: The picture above is of Lorenzo and his mom & dad at the annual NY Hospital Transplant cruise... It was a great day.